


I'm Just Your Problem

by emidegrey



Category: DRAMAtical Murder - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Fist Fighting, I will add tags as I go, M/M, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unrequited Love, minkuri - Freeform, mizusei - Freeform, renao - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-09-15
Updated: 2016-05-10
Packaged: 2018-02-17 12:52:06
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 28,142
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2310266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emidegrey/pseuds/emidegrey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Sleep with me, old man."</p><p>Koujaku nearly choked on his drink and he looked at the teen with a disbelieving look. "You've got to be kidding."</p><p> </p><p>Or in which, Noiz is a college student and Koujaku is his professor. They have class and tutorial sessions together. And sometimes, they sleep with each other to fill the void Aoba left to the old man's heart.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I'm gonna bury you in the ground

 

A sigh left Koujaku's lips as he marked the last paper, a frown marring his face. It was actually a nice day, a good day even, but seeing such a low grade like this from one of his students had dampen the mood. When he thinks about it, it’s not the first time this student got such a grade.

An older male teacher looked up from his desk with a raised eyebrow as if asking the question _'what's wrong?'._

Another frustrated sigh left Koujaku's lips and he shook his head. "It's just this kid. He's getting low marks." he fixed the stack of papers to one side and brought his class record over to encode the grades. The red eyed man could only shake his head at the grades his student had accumulated. "If he won't do anything about this he's going to fail."

Mink shrugged, his hair falling over his shoulder. "Just tell him that, then see if he'll do something about it." with that the older man continued on with his work and Koujaku was left to look at his records and think about what to do with his student.

 

* * *

 

"That's all for today. You're dismissed." Koujaku's voice boomed within the room, his eyes scanning over the girls that were stealing glances at him while giggling and grinning, to the tired faces of the other students to the wide smile on a white haired male and then the bored look of the blond beside him.

"Noiz." he called out, his voice smooth. "May I speak to you for a moment?"

Green eyes turned to him, disinterest clear in them that it made Koujaku grimace. The boy stood before slinging his messenger bag on his shoulder and stepping forward. The white haired male beside him gave a worried glance but merely stood and patted his back. "I'll wait for you outside Noiz!" pink eyes turned to Koujaku, the smile on Clear's face making his eyes crinkle at the sides. "I'll see you around sensei!" he said and left the room.

Once alone, Noiz stood in front of his desk the same apathetic look on his face as he stared at Koujaku. The older man cleared his throat, not really knowing how to start, it's not as if he hasn't done this before but the way Noiz showed disinterest made him both uneasy and irritated.

"I would like to talk to you regarding your grades." Koujaku presented a copy of the blond's grades in front of him, it was even highlighted to emphasize on the numbers printed out. "As you can see, your marks are quite low. You hardly pass any homework and if you do, it does not meet the needed standard requirement." he sighed again, as if talking to this kid had sipped at all of his energy. "If these marks continue to fall, you will fail this class." he finished, as he looked at the young man in front of him.

Noiz's eyes were staring down at the paper, still looking indifferent before those eyes shifted to him. "So what are you suggesting?" he asked dismissively.

Koujaku felt his irritation spark up and his eyebrows furrowed. "Look, what I'm saying is that if you continue to be this carefree about your grades then you're definitely failing this class."

The blond merely shrugged before taking the paper and staring at it again, he's barely holding on. It's not as if he's incompetent with the subject, he's just too lazy to do the papers and readings. Add that he doesn't like to participate in class discussions. He turned to look at his professor again, eyeing him before an idea clicked. "Then just be my tutor then."

The dark haired male had thought about it, yes, but thought that it might offend the young man, considering that this is college already and kids were supposed to look after themselves. "I have thought about it, yes but I ... " he trailed off not sure how to continue. Koujaku was about to retort something along the lines of _'Just go and ask Clear to help you out'_ died on his tongue as the other spoke.

"Then why didn't you suggest it earlier? It would've saved us a lot of time." he said, impatience lacing his words. "I'll e-mail you my schedule then we could talk about when we could start. I'm keeping this." he said, waving the paper, before walking out of the room, leaving a stunned Koujaku behind.

 

* * *

 

Indeed Koujaku had received the young man's schedule before lunch break ended. They both had Friday afternoon free. He guesses that they could hold the sessions then but why did he agree in the first place? It's not as if he's required to help the kid keep his grades up.

Well he might as well get on with it then. If only for the sake of his pride and the want of not having a student fail at his class. He e-mailed back, saying that they could have the tutorials every Friday afternoon at the library for two hours. He could only hope that this tutorial will work.

 

* * *

 

When he got to the library that Friday he was surprised that the boy was already there, albeit working on his laptop and headphones resting on his head, music blaring through although muted.

Walking towards him, he placed his things across his student and sat down, noting that the typing stopped and that green eyes were on him. He gave a small smile as a greeting but it was quickly removed when Noiz didn't reciprocate.

Putting his things away, Noiz stared at the man in front of him. In all honesty he didn't know what came over him when he proposed about the tutorial but he might as well do it now. It doesn't mean he had to start the conversation though, so he kept silent.

Koujaku shifted in his seat uncomfortable at the silence between the two of them before he sighed and pulled out Noiz's papers from before. "Alright. So here are all of your past papers. You don't actually have problems with grammar and what not when you do pass your requirements but the shortness of it is the problem. Sometimes you don't even answer the questions or give me what was required of your paper." he started as Noiz took the papers and shuffled through them. The red marks could be seen as the papers were looked at.

"I guess I could help you with trying to lengthen your papers without putting bullshit in it like some of your classmates but in other areas I don't really know what else you need help with." he admitted eyes watching the other's hands as he set aside the papers, before moving his eyes back to Noiz's eyes. "We could start by making you write a paper now, just so you could fill those that you missed. It would be a shame to fail this class as this is a prerequisite for your next subjects." giving another paper for Noiz to choose a topic to write about.

Noiz on the other hand only slouched further in his seat. He really wasn't incompetent with this but he's just so damn lazy and he could hardly care about this. "Sure, whatever." he answered, looked at the topics and had proceeded to write a paper. He really shouldn't have suggested this. His headphones were on his head again, music playing and the world drowned behind the beats.

Koujaku felt his eyebrow twitch as the other dismissed him again but watched the other work, still unsure of this predicament between them. Sighing he pulled out some of the unchecked papers and set out to work.

 

* * *

 

An hour later Koujaku was pulled out from his readings when Noiz pushed a paper in front of him with a smug; "There's your paper, enjoy." A frown was on his lips as he glared at the boy before reading through it. The furrow on his eyebrows turned to surprise and he looked at Noiz confused. "Okay. Who did you ask to write your papers? This is actually pretty good but all of the papers you passed me were shit."

The boy smirked and leaned forward a bit, resting his head on his hand. "Was just too lazy to do it before." he grinned. "I have inspiration now."

Koujaku felt his eyes widen and he opened and closed his mouth as he stared wanting turn the other down, saying that's inappropriate but he couldn't find his voice as the other stared at him. Noiz started to snicker, although it's suppressed before he could say anything, a choked; "You should've seen your face!" slipping past the snicker and making some of the people inside the library turn to look at them. The professor felt his cheeks burn a little at the attention and he glared at Noiz as the other settled down.

Noiz wiped at his eyes as he shook his head. "Man you should've seen your face." he muttered again. Koujaku was scowling by now ready to give a piece of his mind but the blond stood up his things already in his arms. "That'll be good for now right? I'll see you around then." he waved and left, his stride brisk as if he's late for something and for the second time Koujaku was left behind to look at the other's retreating back. He’s not exactly excited for their next meeting.

 

* * *

 

In all honesty he still doesn't understand why he's continuing with this predicament with Noiz - and to think that this was already a month in from the start. The kid was brilliant enough when they're together but during class hours he was the one who's making his life miserable with the papers he passes. They were the same things he passed before they started the tutorial sessions.

A frustrated sigh left his lips as he drank his drink in one go before slamming the glass down on the counter. Calling the attention of other people in the bar as well as the bartender that was tending to a customer.

"Well someone's frustrated." a red headed male moved towards him, a smile on his face as he slid another drink in front of Koujaku. The older man merely scowled again before taking the glass in hand and swirling the content. Mizuki smiled a bit. "Want to talk about it?"

Koujaku continued to scowl at the memory of Noiz's smug face whenever he impresses him with his work. The younger man would tease him a lot and would retaliate by teasing back causing into a banter the two of them couldn't seem to end. They get on each other's nerves but somehow they get to sit down and talk albeit strained regarding Noiz's papers. Red eyes turned to look at Mizuki and he huffed another sigh. "Not really no." sighing as if even imagining talking about Noiz would drain his energy.

The other male raised an eyebrow at that before a smirk was on his lips. "Love problems?" he chuckled as the other's face paled as if what he mentioned was the most unbelievable thing ever and then turned bright red. "So it is then?"

"No! God, no." he said and shook his head, taking a sip of his drink. "That's not it. I haven't even seen Aoba for some time." he frowned again, thinking of the blue haired male and how they haven't talked for a while now. "It's another thing. Someone. A student." he sighed and shook again. "He's frustrating. I don't even know why I agreed to tutor him. I could care less about him failing and we always fight. He's a an asshole and he gets on my nerves, a lot, and I'm losing my temper way too easily. I don't even know why I agreed to tutor him in the first place." he sighed again.

The bartender chuckled and looked at him a fond expression on his face. "You know a similar person had been talking to me about something like that. You sure this isn't some crush you two are developing? I mean you do know about that saying about teasing the person you like right?"

Koujaku's face paled again at the thought and he shook his head vehemently. No. He can't imagine ever liking the brat. Sure he had the looks even with all of those metal on his face and that stupid hat but no. With that attitude and how they are now it's never going to happen. "I don't even know why you're suggesting this. First of all he's my student." he scowled at the thought again, he had seen his fair share of student-teacher relationships in his time of teaching and all of them didn't end well. He turned his eyes down to his glass, swirling it again and watching the ice clink together. "And you know about Aoba."

This time it was Mizuki who gave a sigh. Before waving his hand dismissively. "Alright, alright, no more jokes about that. But seriously though, you should start making a move already. It's been what...? A few years already and you still haven't confessed. Someone might make the first move you know." he watched the furrow on Koujaku's eyebrow deepen. It had been a subject of discussion between the two of them of when and how Koujaku would confess to Aoba. The professor had been in love with the blue haired male ever since the boy was out of high school. And Aoba, as oblivious and as subtle of Koujaku, had never noticed the stolen glances and lingering touches.

Koujaku continued to frown, taking in consideration what Mizuki had mentioned and thought about it. Aoba was out of school already, now working and a grown man. If thinking about it logically, then yes, this is the best time to admit to his feelings. Downing his drink, he placed the glass back down before taking his wallet out and placing the money under the glass. "That's it for tonight. I'll see you around Mizuki." he stood, a small smile for his friend who smiled back and waved as he left the bar.

 

* * *

 

Later that night, this was a Saturday, he received a message from Aoba saying that he was going to go home the following week and that he had something important to tell him.

This message had brought Koujaku in a positive mood the whole week.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm actually very nervous to post this since I'm not that confident with my skills but I do hope that you would enjoy this as much as I did! It's a multi-chapter fic and I've had it outlined so I just need to write it down and everything. But alas, I have school. Anyway, I'll be adding tags as I go and warnings would be placed at the beginning if there would be a need for it. O v O
> 
> Fic and chapter title from the song I'm Just Your Problem by Ashe (I really like his cover)


	2. All the words that I saved in my heart

"Hippo!"

Koujaku turned around from where he was standing in front of his apartment door and saw Aoba running towards him. A smile graced his features and he opened his arms to catch the blue haired male and hug him tight. He buried his face into the soft locks and inhaled Aoba's scent.

"God I missed you." Koujaku muttered. Aoba pulled away and looked him in the eye, a wide smile on the blue haired man's lips. Aoba opened his mouth and said;

"Well someone's happy."

Then it dawned to him.

That was _definitely_ not Aoba’s voice.

Koujaku jolted from his daze, his cheeks flaring up at being caught by his student grinning stupidly and stuck in a daydream. He looked away, coughing to compose himself and sat up straight. "I'm more concerned on how that paper's going." he looked at the half written essay Noiz had discarded to the side and the blond was now resting his head on his crossed arms as he looked at Koujaku still, the stupid beanie had made it's appearance once more as it lay atop Noiz's head. The older man raised an eyebrow. "Giving up already?"

The other snorted then buried his face in his arms. "As if. I'm just resting." he said, voice muffled due to to his arms. Green eyes looked at him after, before Noiz added. "At least I'm making use of my time wisely than just daydreaming." the eyes left him to turn to the stack of papers he has yet to check. "And those aren't going to check themselves. So I suggest you save the daydreaming for when you're jacking off."

Red eyes widened for a bit before he glared at the male. "Yeah? Well at least those papers just needs to be marked." he smirked, resting his head on his hand. "You on the other hand, still need to do twice that stack to pass my subject." with narrowed eyes, voice laced with irritation and a bit of teasing. "So I suggest you continue that paper _now_."

Noiz didn't say anything but glared at the older man as he sat up and pulled the paper towards him to continue where he left off. Deep inside, Koujaku felt himself celebrate at how Noiz couldn't do anything about it.

This was a Wednesday, Koujaku had to move their session because Aoba was coming by Friday and they were planning to spend the day together with Mizuki. He thought that Sei was coming along as well but it seems that Aoba’s brother was quite busy with work as well. A smile was on the older man’s lips again as he watched the other work, though physically present, his mind was wandering about. _‘Just two more days.’_ he thought.

 

* * *

 

Koujaku stood by the exit of the train station, checking his watch every once in a while and then looking up to the wave of people exiting the platform. He offered to give the blue haired male a ride to Mizuki’s so he doesn't have to commute to Tae’s place anymore.

After college, Aoba and Sei had decided to venture out of their town and towards a new environment to see what kind of opportunities were there for the siblings, leaving Tae alone. Though the old woman would occasionally see him and ask him to come over for dinner he would usually decline saying that he had things to do when in all honesty he just didn't want to go because Aoba wasn't there.

Red eyes turned to look at the ground, he took out a cigarette placed it in between his lips and was about to light it up when a pair of boots entered his line of vision. Looking up, his eyes met gold ones and a grin broke on his lips as Aoba grinned back.

“Hippo! Have you been waiting long? Sorry there were problems at some of the stations.” The blue haired male apologized though the smile was still on his face.

Koujaku shook his head and shrugged. “It’s fine, it’s not like I have anything to do anyway. Come on, I’ll drop you off to Tae-san’s place first. Then let’s have dinner at Mizuki’s.” He said as he led the way towards his car, a red car, parked at a free side of the road. Opening the door, he let the other sit inside first before closing the door and going to the driver’s side.

 

* * *

 

Koujaku started to drive, though occasionally he would look at Aoba who was staring out. There was a comfortable silence between the two of them, the radio giving a soft background noise of some new pop song.

"I missed this place." Aoba muttered as he leaned his head on the window glass.

"Then you should visit more often." Koujaku answered. _'Or you could just stay here.'_ he thought. Actually he would prefer if Aoba would just stay here than go, back with Sei. Though it would be selfish of him because of that, Aoba was already making a life for himself, being independent.

Aoba gave a tinkle like laugh, looking at Koujaku first before looking out again. "Nah. You know how Sei gets when he's given something to work with. Plus, I kind of like the freedom I have there." there was this somewhat longing look he had in his eyes when he said this. "And besides, it has something to do with what I'll tell you guys later."

Koujaku felt his heart beat faster at the wide smile Aoba flashed towards him. It was filled with something akin to fondness and admiration - love even, he doesn't know, he didn't want to acknowledge it but the way Aoba beamed it's as if he could conquer anything. Indeed Aoba changed, _matured_ , Koujaku just doesn't know if it's something good.

 

* * *

 

Black Needle, if anything would be described as comfortable; Cozy even. For now though it's closed to the public, with prior notice of course, and was only filled with three people.

Aoba and Koujaku sat on the high stools while Mizuki was behind the bar giving out the drinks. The burgundy haired man smiled as he placed a glass down.

"So Aoba, tell us how you've been. It's been a while since we last talked and all." he prompted, though he had somehow kept in touch with Sei, Mizuki wasn't able to talk much with them that much, what with Sei being busy and Mizuki managing around the bar and looking out for his patrons that are still into Rib.

Aoba smiled and started to talk; "Well it wasn't that hard to adjust there I guess. Sei's with me and he was able to find this apartment way before we graduated so I guess there wasn't any hassle with that. Looking for a job was a little harder though. Companies already offered work for Sei when we were still in college so it's just me who needs to look for one." The blue haired male rubbed at the back of his head as he grinned sheepishly.

Comparing to Sei, who could be described as an achiever and a straight-A student, Aoba looks like the average college student, who parties and gets into fights but manages to keep his grades up.

"I got this part time job at a retro shop around our block while I'm waiting for the replies of the jobs I applied to." Aoba added proudly before he turned to look a Koujaku and then to Mizuki. "So what about you guys?"

Mizuki continued to smile, shrugging. "Black Needle's doing pretty good, though sometimes I have to meddle in some Rib fights still. What with this Rhyme game going on, challenging the Ribsters with the online game then there are bets made, sometimes fist fights happen between them." the bartender shook his head and sighed. "If you were to ask me, those Rhymers should just stay away from physical fights."

Koujaku nodded, sharing sentiments because some of his students play the game. Though he thinks that the game wouldn't last long. Being an ex player of Rib, along with Mizuki and occasionally Aoba, he had his fair share of experiences with the fights.

On the other hand Aoba pouted a little at the clear dislike for the game. He had played Rhyme for sometime during college and had in fact enjoyed it. Nevertheless he did not comment any further. Waving his hand, Aoba motioned to dismiss the Rhyme - Rib issue and move on to another topic, turning to look at Koujaku. "How about you? You still cut hair for a living? What happened to your fanbase?"

The older man grinned and nodded. "Yeah I still do every once in a while. But it has to be scheduled." he leaned a little closer towards Aoba. "Would you let me cut your hair now?"

A scoff left the blue haired male's lips and he pulled his hair to one side, exposing his neck. "As if I would! You're not touching my hair." Aoba said defensively as he pouted and looked the other way.

Koujaku stared for a moment, his mind almost wandering to inappropriate thoughts before he pulled his eyes away to look at his drink. "I'm still hoping. Maybe next time I'll cut it when you're asleep." the older man teased and he could hear Aoba grumbling.

Mizuki laughed at them for acting like kids before serving another round of drinks. "Actually, Koujaku's been doing pretty well with teaching in college. In fact I can attest that he's doing a good job with keeping his head cool." the burgundy haired male said.

"Yeah?"

"Hmm." Aoba gave an impressed hum. "I still can't imagine you teaching though I've seen you in action.  I mean with your temper and all, I didn't know you could be patient with kids. But then again you are charismatic. So I guess it could work, plus the women. I bet people sit in your class to ogle at you." Aoba teased.

The older man raised an eyebrow and smirked. "Jealous?"

Aoba scoffed and shook his head. "Nope. Not at all. I'd go deaf if I stay too long with you when your fans are around. I'll add that they'll murder me too."

"Certainly it's not that bad if I'm still here." Koujaku continued, defending himself but teasing as well.

"How about no?" Aoba said and looked at Mizuki. "He's not doing anything stupid now is he?"

Mizuki tilted his head to the side, as if trying to remember before shrugging. "No? Not really. Oh but then there's this student. The one he’s tutoring." the blue haired male raised an eyebrow at this comment.

"Ohh?? What's this? Dwelling in some forbidden school romance? You know you can't have those, hippo, they don’t end well.” Aoba started his eyes narrowing as a smirk was on his face though it turn into a worried frown afterwards. “No, seriously.”

Koujaku gave a distraught look and shook his head violently. “It’s not something like that!” He glared at Mizuki for bringing it up. “He’s just this brat that’s really full of himself and gets on my nerves. I don't even know why I agreed with tutoring him, he might as well fail my class."

Aoba still gave him that look, it's as if he wanted to say something but Koujaku didn't let him opting to change the subject again. "So what was this important thing you mentioned earlier when I picked you up?"

The blue haired male startled for a minute. Sitting up properly before slouching a little and scratching his cheek. "About that..." he avoided the other's looking at him, keeping gold eyes fixed on the picture covered wall. "You guys... You'll understand right? I mean you know how I'm... You know attracted to... Men." he finished face red as he continued to evade their questioning gaze.

"Yes of course."

"What are you thinking? It's no big deal."

The other men knew about Aoba's orientation and it had been accepted from a long time ago. It was just sexuality. So hearing Aoba saying this, as if wanting reassurance had made them curious though they have an inkling on what this is going to be. Both dreaded the words that will leave the blue haired man's lips.

Aoba looked at them, still blushing and fidgeting in his seat. He glanced at their faces, seeing that they were interested and took a deep breath. Here goes.

"I'm going out with someone." he said in a rush, face becoming more red.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for everyone that had left comments, kudos and bookmarked this fanfic. Q v Q it made me extremely happy and of course to those who had read and gave it a try as well. I hope that you would continue to support this fic and I'll try to update as soon as I can.
> 
> This chapter's title came from What Hurts the Most by Cascada


	3. And having so much to say, and watching you walk away

Koujaku felt his heart stop and pain spread through his chest. His hand started to go cold and sweaty and he glanced at Mizuki who was looking at Aoba with a shocked expression before turning to him, concerned. Immediately Koujaku schooled his features into something comfortable, something happy - normal. A forced smile on his face and his voice controlled to cover the hurt. "Oh? Who is it?" he dared to ask.

Aoba's face lit up at that, feeling that his friends accepted the fact that he was dating someone and that they were still curious. "It's this person I met at work. His name is Ren and he's really nice." he blushed again, fiddling with his fingers. "He helps around the shop and is really reliable and mature. Though he's a bit awkward and quiet but that's alright." he continued.

Mizuki watched as Koujaku put up a front but he could see the cracks in the smile of the professor. He kept quiet though, keeping a neutral face.

Koujaku was frowning now as Aoba explained and tried to introduce this "Ren" person. Why would Aoba fall for someone he hardly know? Could it be possible that this guy was just using Aoba? What were his intentions? These questions filled his mind as he listened. He wasn't sure if he was jealous at the way Aoba talked about "Ren" passionately. There's so much vigor and that _smile;_  He was pretty much _beaming_ with happiness.  Koujaku didn't want to take that away from Aoba, he was beautiful this way too. Again he wasn't sure if it's jealousy or over protectiveness that made these words spill out from him. "That's good to hear but I want to meet him first before I agree to this."

The older man stiffened once he finished, realizing how patronizing he must have sounded. Red eyes glanced at Mizuki who had been silent the whole time before looking at a flustered Aoba. His fingers clenched at the glass he was holding torn between wanting to apologize or keep his cool demeanor.

It was Mizuki who spoke next. "Yeah. You should bring him the next time you visit, so we could have some bonding time and get to know him. Does Tae-san know about this already?"

The smile on Aoba's face was back and he nodded happily. "Grandma knows. From the beginning. I didn't want to keep secrets from her and well, Sei had been telling her anyway so might as well come from my own mouth. I just didn't want to tell it to you guys over the phone and this is the only time I could go home."

Mizuki nodded and refilled their cups. "Well then, we'll just have to set a day and meet Ren." He looked at Koujaku who was still trying to act tough and to Aoba who was grinning widely, happy that they were at least considering on meeting Ren. "Okay. So who's up for a game of poker?"

 

* * *

 

Koujaku stared at the papers in front of him, wanting to finish everything but at the same time not being able to focus. The words didn't make sense to him and whatever he read doesn't get processed.

This is mainly because his thoughts are filled with Aoba. And of this total stranger "Ren" that became Aoba's boyfriend in such a short time. He had put up a "normal" front as long as Aoba stayed over but as soon as he left he could hardly do anything about the devastation he felt. The heartbreak turned to anger and frustration, something he wasn't willing to burden anyone with. Not Aoba. Not Mizuki. He was too proud for that. Due to that he had evaded Mizuki's attempts of talking to him and all together stopped dropping by at Black Needle.

Giving a frustrated sigh he clutched at his pen and glared at the papers in front of him.

There was shuffling in front of him and he turned to look at his student who was staring at him with an apathetic look. He didn't know why but the look was getting on his nerves. "What?" he asked, his voice suppressed but there was a hint of irritation there.

Noiz stared again before leaning forward and then continuing his task of writing another paper but not before giving Koujaku this "knowing" look. As if he wants to say something but wouldn't continue.

Koujaku felt his blood boil at the way this kid was acting up and he gritted his teeth. "If you have something to say, you should say it."

"I have nothing to say. Or do you want me to guess what's up?"

"As if you could think of something that's related to me."

Noiz looked up at him again before shrugging. “Sure thing, _sensei_." he drawled the last word out in a singsong tone. "What's _your_ problem? Not getting enough attention from the ladies because of your age? Love isn't really my thing. But if you want advice I could always give you one." the blond teased, resting his head on his propped hand. "Insecurity doesn't suit someone as confident as you are." he continued to speak. "Or maybe it's lost love? A one sided thing. _Unrequited_."

Unrequited. That seemed to be the magic word. He felt his vision cloud for a moment and he grabbed Noiz's wrist all of a sudden, making the other lose his balance momentarily, his free hand slamming on the table. "Listen here you brat don't talk to me as if _you_ know _me_." Koujaku hissed as he stared at narrowed green eyes

The sound of Noiz's palm slamming on the table drew the attention of other people again and Koujaku immediately let go of the pale wrist and took his things and stomped out of the library, hardly caring about his bit of outburst. If he didn't leave now he would've punched the kid, just because of the knowing smirk played on his lips and the triumphant mutter of "Bingo."

 

* * *

 

Koujaku slammed the glass down the counter, pouring more alcohol in the clear glass. Mizuki watched him cautiously

It was the first time Koujaku visited him after almost a week of no word from the long haired man. Of course Mizuki had been worried. He tried calling a few times before finally leaving the other alone, thinking that he'll come when he's ready.

He didn't mean for it to be a raging Koujaku bursting through his door, across the bar counter, to the shelves holding the alcohol bottles, getting one and sitting down his usual place and started downing the bottle. Mizuki was sure that Koujaku would finish the whole bottle if he didn't regulate it. Not wanting to pry it off the other's hands he just gave a glass with ice to the professor and was thankful that Koujaku started using the glass and had somehow mellowed down with the drinking.

"Alright. So what happened?" Mizuki prompted, hoping that it was already the right time to ask.

Koujaku's scowl deepened and he placed the glass near his lips. "That shitty kid keeps on running his mouth off. Pissed me off this afternoon." he lowered the glass before he could drink. Now that he thought about it. He did grab the kid's wrist abruptly and he had been able to wrap his fingers through the appendage entirely. Did he held on too much? Did he actually hurt him? He left in a fit of anger that he didn't bother to look back. But at the thought of what the kid said he felt the anger bubbling up again and he drank.

"The one you're tutoring?" he raised an eyebrow. Sure he's heard Koujaku complain about this student but not enough to be driven like this. "What did he say?"

The long haired man frowned still keeping his eyes down. "It's just... He keeps on poking and prodding and he just... He ..." Koujaku sighed, defeated, finally giving up. "It's probably just me letting my emotions get the better of me." he pressed a hand to right side of his face, holding on the hair there. "I just ... I can't seem to accept what Aoba said..."

Mizuki looked at Koujaku forlornly. He understood the pain this man is probably feeling right now but he wasn't sure what to tell him, how to comfort when they've already talked about this. He had hoped that Koujaku had taken initiative before Aoba set off with Sei.

Keeping silent Mizuki took the bottle from Koujaku's hand, he refilled the glass and looked him in the eye. "Drink up."

 

* * *

 

The next time he saw Noiz it was during his class on a Wednesday. As usual he and Clear sat by the side, Noiz beside the wall playing with his phone and Clear talking comically at him. Koujaku would notice that the blond would occasionally nod and hum, wondering if he was actually listening to Clear. When he ran his hand through his hair, he noticed faint traces of yellowing bruises around Noiz's wrist and he could only refrain himself from walking over and asking if he was the cause of that. But of course he didn’t yet he’s pretty sure that it's him who caused those bruises.

Coughing to get the attention of everyone, the class quieted down and most of the eyes were on him, except for Noiz and some of the kids who were sleeping at the back. He greeted them, they greeted back, and class started. His voice filled the room as he continued from his past lecture, his eyes moving every once in a while towards Noiz who was looking out of the window not even bothering to take down notes. The blond’s head rested in his hand, his wrist exposed and Koujaku suppressed whatever guilt he felt towards the kid. Once again, it was the blond’s fault. If he didn't provoke him, this wouldn't have happened.

 

* * *

 

Koujaku sat in front of his laptop, pen being tapped on the books at the side absentmindedly. He stared at the e-mail he’s going to send to Noiz regarding the cancellation of their tutorial session on Friday because of personal reasons. He didn't want the kid to think that he was neglecting him nor that he was avoiding him after what happened at the library. Honestly speaking that was out of bounds, he could be sued for all he know about harming a student of his, but it was an accident. 

Leaning his head on his palm he sighed and continued to stare at it still until he felt a hand on the back of his chair and Mink leaning down to read the e-mail on his screen. Red eyes stared for a moment before blue-green ones turned to look at him. “I think you’re e-mail’s fine. But maybe change the brat part. Too informal.” the older male said in a deep voice before standing properly and walking to his table, coffee mug pressed to his lips as he drank.

The red eyed male stared at the other for a moment, frowning a little before looking back at his screen. Brat fits perfectly fine.

 

* * *

 

Koujaku was standing outside the train station again waiting for Aoba. If the first time felt excited, this time he was dreadful. He still haven't grasped the concept of Aoba being with someone and is currently in denial.

Eventually he saw blue locks of hair and a smile was on his lips. Alright so maybe Aoba was just messing with them, he might still have a chance. As soon as Aoba saw him the younger male made his way towards him, a huge smile on his face. But once the other was standing in front of him, another stood behind Aoba. He was nearly the same height as Koujaku, maybe a little taller and a little more muscular.

"Hippo!" Aoba greeted happily, his cheeks flushed as he pulled the man closer to them. "This is Koujaku." he introduced, turning to look at the dark haired male behind him and smiling. "He's the one I told you about before, my childhood friend." Ren gave a short bow towards Koujaku but kept silent. 

To be polite still, he smiled towards the other before motioning towards the car. "Should we go? I'll drop you guys off." he said voice a bit tense. They made their way to the car, Aoba sitting at the passenger side and Ren at the back their bags sitting on the space beside him.

The ride was filled with Aoba's cheery voice telling stories of streets and shops that they passed by. Ren would reply every once in a while but would usually be quiet. Koujaku was also quiet but would try and fill in some of the stories.

Once they were at Tae's place he dropped the two off and reminded them about Saturday's dinner. Aoba tried to persuade him to stay but he refused, saying he had to meet a student of his, earning this sly look from Aoba that he didn't react to anymore. He gave them a small smile and a wave before going to his car. That bit about meeting Noiz isn't true, it was just the first excuse he could think about. 

 

* * *

 

The night was spent with Koujaku trying not to think about Aoba and Ren. By the time he got home he started fixing his place, cleaning up, and decided to change the bedding. Even going as far as doing the laundry. He had food delivered, not having the energy to cook anymore and ate it in front of the TV watching or rather staring at an action movie that he hardly understood, let alone care about. And as he laid in his bed, staring at his ceiling this time, his thoughts were taken over by the events earlier.

He tried to accept the fact that the blue haired man was with someone else but he _can't_ , mainly because he didn't know who this person _is_.

Closing his eyes, he forced himself to sleep. His dreams filled with blue hues and golden eyes.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaahhh, I'm really really sorry for the late update. School is nearing the end of the semester and I'm getting busier by the day. I'm working with the next chapter but I can't promise to update any time soon. ; v ; I'm very sorry. 
> 
> Plus I edited a part in chapter 2 regarding Koujaku's car being a sports car. Cause wth, do they even have those in Midorijima??? Well I needed a four seater one so I had to change it. ; v ;
> 
> On the other hand I'm very thankful to all of you who continues to support this story! Q v Q
> 
> Title is from What Hurts the Most by Cascada still


	4. This chapter's done, the story goes on

In all honesty he didn't want to be here. He’s not even sure why he agreed with Mizuki when he suggested for Aoba to bring his boyfriend - Ren - over. This meeting couldn't get any better. Sure he had driven the two towards Tae’s house yesterday but that’s a different matter because he didn't give that much thought in that meeting and he’s not facing Ren at that time.

Dinner at the restaurant they were in was bad enough with Ren being really quiet while the three of them talked. This bothered not only Mizuki but Koujaku as well and they had asked him if he was alright and such but Ren merely answered that he’s really alright with just listening.  In a sense he felt bad for the guy but at the same time he noticed that it’s as if their closeness to Aoba didn't bother him at all. He wondered why Ren didn't seem threatened. Aoba had two guy friends that he's really close to and yet Ren was sitting there like this was perfectly normal.

As Koujaku continued to watch them he noticed that there was this certain look that Ren had on his face when he looks at Aoba that spoke volumes about how he felt than actually vocalizing them - he _trusted_ Aoba, enough that he’s not feeling possessive. Maybe he's looking into this too much, maybe he's not _supposed_ to think about it. He's supposed to be there to get to know Ren, not scrutinize him with everything he did. Koujaku realized that this was harder than he thought it would be. 

The aroma of the dish presented in front of him had his mouth watering but he didn't have any appetite to eat. The sight of Aoba and Ren sitting beside each other and getting lost in each other's eyes - as cheesy as that sounds, it's true - had affected him to the point of not feeling hungry.

Mizuki, who was sitting beside him was doing his best not to throw worried glances his way. The constant fidgeting of the professor in his seat had the burgundy haired male on edge, thinking that any moment the other would snap. He wouldn't do that of course but Koujaku was just thrumming with so much tension he'll burst soon.

Aoba had started to eat as soon as everyone's food was on the table and Ren followed suit, Mizuki next and Koujaku started as well when the blue haired male had asked him if there was something wrong. He wasn't able to finish his food though.

 

* * *

 

Now they sat at Black Needle, Mizuki serving them drinks as they continued to have small talks. In a sense it was easy to fall back to their routine; drinking and talking, even if Ren was there. He was really quiet only speaking for a while before going silent, although there would be times when he would smile and laugh with them. It was so normal, _ordinary._ It felt like Ren was actually a _part_ of the trio the whole time. In the end, they decided it was best to retire for the night, the four of them stood outside of the bar, Aoba was already swaying due to the alcohol and Koujaku was planning to help him out when Ren beat him to it by sliding his arm around Aoba’s waist and making him lean on him. It was then that Koujaku was reminded once again of the truth; Aoba has a boyfriend.

Ren looked up at him, confused when he tried to touch his lover but didn't say a word. Koujaku rubbed at his nape an embarrassed smile on his face. “Ah… do you need a ride home?” He’s pretty sure could still drive at this point he's not that drunk yet but Mizuki had gotten out of his way to offer him his guest room to stay for the night than drive and get himself in an accident.

The short haired male smiled a little at Koujaku’s offer but shook his head. “We’ll just take a cab.” He hoisted Aoba up by his armpits as the blue haired male started to slide down, giggling and murmuring about dogs and soft hair and how the night is still young and he could still continue drinking. “You should too. Get some rest, it was a great night, I had fun, thank you.” The rush of words sounded a bit awkward but then again Ren was a bit awkward but that's probably because it's the first time he got to hang around them.

Koujaku nodded, giving a mall smile as well and had seen them off. He’s not as drunk as he was in the first place but looking at the two leave, watching Ren guide Aoba inside the car and waving at him a little before going inside as well, he couldn't help but feel lost, envious and happy at the same time. Ren seemed like a great guy, someone who could look after Aoba. He also didn't seem like he would hurt him - not on purpose anyway, and he looked like he was loyal. The image of Ren looking at Aoba with that “look” came back to his mind and he felt a twinge in his chest; He had to look away from them.

He heard the door close behind him and he turned to look back seeing his burgundy haired friend leaning on it, a worried look on his face. “You okay?” he asked, tone not even slurred by the alcohol he consumed. Come to think of it, Mizuki wasn't drinking much in the first place.

Koujaku stared at him for a moment before shrugging and leaning on the wall beside him, looking up at the sky which was blocked by the wall of another building, it was cloudy anyway, the sky a deep, deep blue, nearly black and the stars aren't that visible as of the moment. Was he okay? _Of course you’re not. You just saw the love of your life with another person._

Sighing he took out a cigarette and lighted it. Taking a deep inhale and letting the nicotine work its magic of calming him down before exhaling. “Yeah…? I guess.” He answered meekly. He could deny it all he want but there’s nothing that could change the fact that he had spent most of the night with Aoba and his boyfriend. This was _true_. This was happening _now_.

Mizuki was quiet for some time, just looking at him before sighing and looking away. “You’re not disappearing on me again, are you?” Red eyes turned to look at chartreuse ones, giving a small smile as a reassurance. He felt guilty at the way he had neglected his friend earlier this week and then barging in on his life again. He shook his head and took another drag of his cigarette before flicking it to the ground and stepping on it.

“No. I won’t do that again.” He  answered hand, sliding in his pockets giving this aloof appearance.

The burgundy haired male looked like he didn't believe him, a frown on his face, sizing and scrutinizing the other. Koujaku held his gaze and they stayed like that for some time. He wasn't sure what Mizuki saw in him but eventually the tattoo artist sighed, shook his head and crossed his arms. “So what, do you want me to drive you home?”

Koujaku shook his head and grinned. “I’m not that drunk yet. Or well…” he looked away. “I sobered up.” He muttered. This could be referring broth to his emotional issues with Aoba and his physical state. “I’m sure I’ll arrive home safely.”

The other was frowning still but eventually gave up, giving a small smile and a pat on his shoulder. “Alright. Call me if anything comes up.” Koujaku gave him a bright smile and pulled him for a brief hug before walking to his car, Mizuki behind him.

Just before he closed the door, a hand stopped him and he looked up at Mizuki’s stern face. “You call me, understood?” Koujaku just nodded and smiled again. “Don’t worry too much. I’m good.” And with that Mizuki backed off and he closed the door, the engine revving up a bit as he turned the key prior to driving off. Waving at Mizuki as he passed by before he turned the corner and to the main road on the way to his house.

 

* * *

 

The following day he woke up with a slight headache, nothing a pill or two of aspirin couldn't fix. He stared at his ceiling, not really wanting to leave the comfort of his bed. He remembered being able to get home safely, and sending a text to both Mizuki and Aoba before he flopped on his bed to sleep, not bothering to change out of his clothes. Thankfully he didn't have any dreams that night, probably due to the alcohol, but at the same time it left him feeling a bit restless. Like he wasn't able to get a proper night’s rest.

Running a hand over his face he turned to his side, hand finding his phone and checking if there were any messages. Apparently Mizuki had replied to his text, saying that he was glad that the other got home safely, the other one from Aoba, or rather Ren using Aoba’s phone, also saying that they got home safely and thanking him again for last night. He’s pretty sure that Aoba’s hungover right now. The blue haired male isn't weak with alcohol but the amount he was drinking last night would really get him drunk. He closed his eyes planning to just go to sleep again but found himself unable to.

Damn. He really didn't want to leave his bed. It was Sunday damn it, he could do whatever he wanted even if it meant marking some of the papers and laying in bed the whole day. But the constant sound of birds chirping out his window and the numbers on his clock that says it’s already noon made him guilty. The need to be productive nagging at the back of his head even if his mind is also telling him to leave it and stay in bed.

With a heavy sigh he left the bed, stripping his clothes as he went to the bathroom to take a bath. He needed to get his head out of this slump and move on. Nothing would be better than being able to fill his mind with something other than Aoba and his boyfriend. He thought he’s over it. It’s not that easy.

 

* * *

 

Hair fell to the ground as Koujaku continued to snip away at the woman's hair to make a perfect bobbed cut. There were other women watching them, surrounding the small spot at the park that Koujaku had claimed for the mean time.

Before Koujaku had been a professor, he paid his way through college with his job as a hairdresser. Of course his mother had been a lot of help but after the event with his "father" and the accident that landed his mother at the hospital he decided to stand on his own.

At the same time the old district had accepted the fact that he would set up his shop anywhere or when he needed some quick cash. He wasn't a troublesome kid and he's very charismatic so they would just let him do what he wants as long as he doesn't cause any problems. So now he's back to his old habits, cutting hair and entertaining countless girls, not because he needed money but because he needed something to occupy his mind. _Something not Aoba._

When he turned his eyes he thought he saw a flash of blond hair and a familiar beanie but when he tried to look for it, there was no trace of it anymore. Shrugging it off as his imagination he continued to work with his client's hair.

A constant stream of “Ahhh Koujaku-san it’s been so long!” “I’m up next, alright?” “Can I have an appointment soon? I don’t see you setting up shop that much anymore.” and so on which he replied with a winning smile and a nod here and there and the constant polite declination of any reservation, he's a professor now, not a hairdresser. The attention was invigorating, he felt like he was wanted and needed but there was still that empty feeling in his chest that this was only something fleeting. Besides mostly of this was just for show, he’s not really interested in them.

When the sun was going down he decided to finish up, seeing the disappointed faces of the girls that were watching him that he wasn't able to attend to, there was a bit of guilt but nothing he couldn't handle. It had always turned out to be like this in the end anyway. Taking his signboard and other things away he made his way to his car, he loaded the things in his trunk before getting in it.

Hair styling served it’s purpose for the mean time, he had forgotten about Aoba and was able to focus on the task at hand but now that he’s on his way back to his apartment he wasn't sure if he could find anything that would occupy his mind once he gets back.

What he needed was a distraction. And he really, _really_ should find out _soon_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm back~ finally. After a month long of hiatus I could give you guys an update. I apologize about that but school had eaten me alive. But I'll be trying to update as much as I can while I'm on break
> 
> Also for those who are wondering, yes, Koujaku's mother is alive. ; v ; 
> 
> I'm thankful for everyone who continues to read this, for the kudos the bookmarks and subscriptions. ; V ; I hope you continue to support this story.
> 
> Chapter title from Wedding Dress cover by J. Reyez and Tommy C.


	5. One part of you is dying and the other running wild

“Noiz!”

Green eyes turned to look up at the white haired male waving at him from the floor above. Clear was leaning on the ledge of the hallway window, his arm moving side to side to get his attention and smiling this huge bright smile. He stopped in his tracks, his fingers halting momentarily from the text message he was stringing together.

“Where are you going Noiz? We still have class!”

The blond’s sure that Clear does know what he's up to and where he’s going but was just giving him the benefit of the doubt by asking about it. He gave a shrug and waved his phone with one hand as if to make a statement. He did give a verbal answer though.

“I’m not going to class. I have to meet with someone.”

The disappointment on Clear’s face is apparent. The smile he had on his face disappeared replaced with a concerned frown, he had already put his arm down and was gripping the railing tightly. Clear didn't approve of Noiz’s constant skipping of classes but it’s not as if he could be stopped. Besides what he’s doing is making ends meet for him so it’s not like it doesn't have a purpose or anything like that.

“I’ll see you in class later.” He said breaking eye contact and walking away. His fingers continuing the message he had postponed. If he didn't get any more distracted and the client would hand over the money immediately then he’ll be back at school with a few minutes to spare for their class.

 

* * *

 

When Koujaku entered the classroom the first thing he noticed was that Clear was alone today. Now this isn't something new. There would be times when Noiz wouldn't be present in his classes and Clear would have this worried look on his face till the end of his class or until he receive some sort of text message which would relieve some of the tension from his shoulders. Although he would smile when someone else were to talk to him.

Once he was standing in front of his desk he sat down on it and grinned mischievously at his students. The girls swooned at this giving back giggles and squeals of adoration. Maybe they won't adore him this much after what he's going to do. "Alright. What about a pop quiz?"

 

* * *

 

In the end Noiz didn't come during his class and they held the quiz even though there had been complaints from his students. Watching them pile out of the room with these mixed expressions the professor felt somewhat guilty, but then it was his job and it was their responsibility to study. Koujaku scanned for the white haired male and approached him.

Clear was still sitting at his desk, working on some sort of paper for another class but as soon as Koujaku's shadow fell on him he looked up and smiled brightly at the professor.

"Sensei!" he greeted and leaned back in his chair.

"Hello." he greeted back with a smile, Clear seems like he's a really cheerful guy. Koujaku pulled the chair in front of him and sat down before leaning on Clear's desk. "How was the quiz?"

Clear gave him an approved sound and nodded his head. “It wasn’t that hard but you caught us off guard there sensei! I wasn’t able to study.” He finished and shook his head in disapproval, his arms crossing over his chest. “Tsk, tsk.”

Koujaku chuckled at the action. Clear could be really adorable at times. But this isn’t really his concern as of the moment. His concern right now is the green eyed fellow that Clear is friends with - who had missed another quiz and is _failing_ his subject. Putting on a serious face he looked Clear in the eyes and asked; “Do you know where Noiz is?”

He could see the smile on the other’s face slowly disappear being replaced by a worried expression again before he broke eye contact and looked on the paper he was working on earlier. The white haired male shook his head ever so lightly before peeking from under his lashes. “He’s in trouble isn’t he?” He asked quietly and then his eyes widened before he leaned close to the other. “He’s not going to fail is he?!”

The professor could only sigh and lean his head on the palm of his hand. “Well, we do have those tutorial session. I’ll probably just give him a make up quiz there but it’s not going to be good if he keeps on skipping my classes too. As much as I don’t want to, he’ll fail due to his absences. Though he still has a few cuts he could use if anything important comes up.”

Clear looked thoughtful for a moment before nodding and turning to Koujaku with a look of determination on his face. “Alright. I’ll make sure to make him come to class!”

Koujaku smiled and ruffled his hair. “Thanks Clear.” He stood up and placed his hands in his pockets. “Oh and could you tell him that we’re going to have extended sessions starting this Friday? We have to make up with the ones we missed a few weeks back. I e-mailed him about it but I wasn't able to get a reply."

The student nodded eagerly and started packing up to leave. Koujaku stood by his desk getting ready to leave as well. Eventually the white haired student waved at him as he left the room and he was left alone. A small smile on his lips on thinking how adorable the other really is.

 

* * *

 

His back connected with the brick wall when he evaded a punch that was targeting his face. Noiz clicked his tongue in irritation at the attacks being thrown his way by the guy he met for the trade. He didn't want to pay up so Noiz said that the deal was off until he gave him the money. Thinking that he could use violence to coerce the young blond, he threw the first punch. This turned into a fist fight which surprisingly was starting to last for some time.

With a grunt, Noiz sent a kick towards the man’s abdomen, his heel digging into the man’s stomach and pushing him to the ground, knocking the air out of the other. From there he dropped to his knees grabbing the man’s shirt and started delivering punches to the man’s face. Rough fingers tried to grab his arms to stop him but they were weak from the pain and could only barely close around his wrist before falling limp on the ground.

Stopping mid-punch, green eyes looked at the bloody face of the man under him, unconscious from probably the pain or having his face continuously punched. He put his arm down and continued to watch him before wiping his hand on the other’s clothes and standing up, the blood staining them in a pinkish hue.

Taking his phone out of his pocket he dialed one of the numbers and waited for a cheerful voice to answer the other end.

“Hello!”

“Oi.” He greeted, pulling the face mask he had over his mouth down to his chin. As much as he liked the fist fights and getting money out of people too addicted with Rhyme, he's not that confident to show his face around, especially now that he's still in college.

“Noiz? Ah! Was the transaction complete?” There was rustling heard from the other end of the line as if some papers were being shuffled around.

“No.” He answered sternly, a frown making its way on his face. “He tried to get the information without paying.”

“Oh no, that’s a problem.”

“Make sure to double the fee if they ask again. If not we’ll just have to take down their system and see if they’ll do something about it.” He finished with an exasperated sigh and started walking away from the scene. “I’m going back to school.”

Another rustling sound before he was given a reply. “Roger! I’ll give you a report soon. Have a good day!”

And with that the call was cut. Noiz turned to look at the unconscious man for a moment before he continued to walk, phone still in hand. He’s not going to call for help for someone who brought this to himself.

 

* * *

 

Noiz tried his best to ignore Koujaku who was staring at him from across the table. His attention was focused on the paper he had in front of him but the constant staring and fidgeting the older man was doing was distracting him.

The session started with the regular talk of what he missed and what to work on but he already started noticing those red orbs looking at the bandages wrapped around his hands and the bruise on his temple and just under his jaw but had not commented about it. Koujaku also made him take the make up exam and then he asked him to pick a topic to write about, just like what they usually do. With a sigh he looked up at the other, red meeting green before looking down again and continuing with his writing.

"You're staring. Like what you see?" he asked sarcastically although it's in his usual monotone way of speaking.

He heard Koujaku choke on his own spit, it seems like he didn't notice the sarcasm. “What?! Excuse me. Have you seen a mirror lately? You look like shit. Who would like a beansprout covered in bandages huh?”

Noiz felt the side of his lips twitch but he didn't reply anymore at that comment. The fight he got into two days ago made his knuckles swell, his bruises were yellowing already but they still had that dark middle, plus the cut he got was covered with a bunny patterned band-aid, and although they are better know they still looked painful for other people. So he doesn't really look that bad as Koujaku’s making it out to be, at least by his standards. Not like he could feel it or anything.

“Not a beansprout.” he muttered keeping his eyes down. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You’re a beansprout especially with that stupid hat.” Koujaku continued to press. Flicking a finger to the beanie on Noiz’s head and shifting it in its place. The beansprout insult started when Koujaku kept on seeing Noiz his favorite beanie. It's probably the color or the design of his beanie but the other thought it looked like one and had associated the vegetable to him whenever he was wearing any sort of hat or beanie.

Clicking his tongue Noiz looked up, his eyebrows furrowed. “Suddenly can't keep your hands to yourself old man? Are you that bored you want me to entertain you?”

Red orbs widened at that and Koujaku genuinely looked surprised before smirking and leaning a bit close. “Oh. In a sour mood I see.” he chuckled before continuing. “Well, I guess I could leave you to finish up for now then.” The professor, shifted back in his seat, sighing, and then started working on the papers he was checking earlier before he got distracted with Noiz’s bandages. It wasn't his place to ask, besides the kid comes in his class like this every once in a while. He probably has had enough of the other teachers asking him about it.

Noiz finally got his peace and quiet.

 

* * *

 

The four hour session was about to end in five minutes but Noiz had been done with all of the things Koujaku had him do half an hour ago. He was just sitting there because the professor wouldn't let him leave like the times he did before since he finally caught up with what the blond was doing.

 _‘Took you some time to notice.’_ he thought. He was starting to do less again, the initial interest of going through the tutoring before and doing it to keep his grades up was finally lost. He did what he could with this one though, he doesn’t want Clear to start fretting over his grades again resulting to the constant calling and visitation to his apartment. 

It’s not as if the company wasn't nice. Clear was nice. He was the closest person he has to a… friend. He could say. He's not good at relationships but the albino says they're friends. But sometimes he felt strangled with Clear’s “mother henly” vibe when it comes to these sort of things. At least it had mellowed down but the white haired male had called him a few days ago to tell him that he talked to Koujaku and that he had to take the tutorial sessions seriously or else he’ll fail and they’re not going to be in the same classes anymore, all of this while his voice sounds like on the verge of crying. So he gave up, decided to just do what he had to do properly and get it over with. He just doesn't know how to deal with him all snot and tears, he had experienced that on one of the celebrations of the death anniversary of Clear’s grandfather. It was embarrassing and thinking back on it, he must have looked like a bad, insensitive friend, he doesn't know - _he has no idea -_  how to comfort him at that time, so he just sat there while Clear cried on his shoulder. He liked it when they play video games and stay up late to watch movies or listen to Clear tell stories, he liked it better that way. 

Noiz felt himself drifting to sleep from his place, his head resting on his crossed arms over the table. His eyes fluttering shut slowly his body relaxing when all of a sudden he heard something growl. He blinked a few times and turned his head to look at Koujaku to see the older man looking at him with a shocked expression and then he realized that it was his stomach that made the sound. He suddenly remembered that he had missed lunch and he wasn't sure if he was able to eat breakfast that morning. Was a Snicker bar and apple juice considered breakfast?

The blond blinked before frowning. “Are we done here?” He wasn't necessarily embarrassed about his stomach growling, everybody gets hungry at some point, but he doesn't like the way he shows weakness to this guy.

This seems to pull the other out of his daze and a smile small smile was on his lips. “Yes. But let’s have dinner first.”

Noiz raised an eyebrow at this. What the hell was this man thinking? First he was acting like he didn't like him, with the constant way they bicker and fight and now he’s asking him out for dinner as if they've been friends for a _long_ time. “What? Why?” He asked brusquely

Koujaku tilted his head to the side a little. “Let’s have dinner? Cause we’re hungry?” He reiterated as if it’s the most logical thing in the world, and maybe it is as of the moment.

“Yeah, I get that. Why…” He felt his eyebrows furrow before his defenses came back and he smirked, his facial expression turning smug. “Oh? That's naughty. Finally taking an interest with your student, _sensei_?” He drawled the last word out teasingly.

He found the flustered expression of Koujaku amusing once again as the man tried to sputter a retort but not really knowing what and settling with a; “I’m not!” He could only make his smirk bigger.

Koujaku huffed and crossed his arms, frowning before leaning forward a bit. “I’m just going to treat you to dinner because I heard your stupid stomach.” Red eyes continued to glare at him, narrow even more at the shrug he gave. “Come on beansprout before I change my mind and leave your hungry ass here.” The other said as he stood up and taking his things with him.

“Whatever you say.” Noiz answered back as he stood and took his things. Who was he to say no to free food? He’ll make Koujaku regret taking him out for dinner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh, I'm really, really sorry for the late update. I wasn't able to have that much down time during my sembreak and now I'm back to college for my second sem and I can feel the amount of work piling up. Q ~ Q
> 
> Never the less I'd like to thank those who continue to support this fic. It would be nice if I get to talk to you guys. So please drop by my [tumblr](http://seingemini.tumblr.com). It'll be great to speak with you. Q v Q
> 
> Also I removed some of the warnings. I'm working on fixing the tags and I think I was exaggerating some of them like the violence part - which you could clearly see isn't that graphic or hardcore. But I will add the warnings if I do see it fit in the future chapters. O v O
> 
> I hope that you would continue to support this fic. Q v Q Chapter title is from Kings by Pierces.


	6. No where to go, but going out of my mind

_‘He’s still a growing kid.’_ He justified himself as he watched Noiz continue to eat through his third lasagna. Well it’s not like he’s going to complain. He was the one who asked the kid out since the sound his stomach made was pitiful and he kept him for the extra hours, which he could have used to eat, so in a sense he felt guilty and responsible.

Besides he was still a bit guilty with his outburst the last time resulting to the bruise around the kid’s wrist. Speaking of wrists. Red orbs turned to look at the bandages wrapped around Noiz’s fingers, his palms up to his wrist that disappeared under the long sleeved shirt he wore. He knew he was staring at the blond earlier at the library, he just couldn't help but be a little concerned. Although they're not close - at all - and they bicker and fight most of the time, he's still his student and there would still be a certain degree where he would care. Even though Noiz looks like he’s lean and everything, the blond still looks like he needs to eat more, what with him being pale and … he just couldn't find the right words - _fragile,_ maybe. To Koujaku he looked like a kid even with all the sharp edges and piercings.

He was lost in thoughts when he heard the other sigh that made him blink a few times. He watched the other scowl and he raised an eyebrow at this. "What?"

"You're staring again."

Koujaku frowned at this and shrugged. "I'm just thinking how you manage to get into brawls with that lanky frame of yours."  

This earned another scowl from the blond. He could see the other wanting to open his mouth and retort something back but stopping himself for whatever reasons. Besides, he's really, really not in the right place to preach about  picking fights when he used to do it in his college days also. He just wonders if Noiz is part of a Rib team or something - though in his honest opinion he doesn't look like a person to be on a team, let alone a Rib team.

Noiz narrowed his eyes a bit at him before looking down and sipping his drink through a straw like a kid. Sometimes thinking about the time they spent together during the tutorial sessions Noiz did look and act like a kid but then Koujaku does too. Being stubborn and retorting back insults isn’t worthy of being called mature. The older man looked at the menu to look for a dessert. He's not that into sweets but once in a while would be alright.

"You're in a good mood."

"Ha?" He looked up to see Noiz was doing the same thing he was doing. He had guts to think that he'll pay for the dessert still - which he will - but at least let him offer first right? What a rude kid. "For your information I'm always in a good mood unless some brat starts to bicker with me. And you're surprisingly talkative today."

Noiz gave him a steady gaze, as if sizing him up. Then out of the blue the other asked him; "You finally got to get over that one sided crush?"

Koujaku felt confusion for a moment before it dawned on him and his face slowly drained of its color as he was reminded of his blue haired friend. How does Noiz know about these sort of things? It's not like it was obvious in plain daylight. And he had his fans and everything to cover up any type of longing or feelings related to that. He frowned at this and he glared at Noiz.

"What the hell? You're still spouting this shit? There's no such thing. Now choose you're dessert." He stated, going back to the menu to look at the desserts but they're not as appealing as they were a few moments ago. He’s trying to avoid confrontation, if there was supposed to be one since _what the hell Noiz doesn't know anything_.

Noiz suddenly stood and the long haired male looked up at him with eyebrows furrowed. He was about to ask where he was going but Noiz beat him to it. "Just going to the bathroom. Don't need to get your panties in a twist, old man." The blond took a step to the side before looking at the wide windows of the place. The skies were grey, not only because it was already getting late but it seems like it would rain soon. "We should get going soon." he muttered before leaving the other alone.

The professor followed the blond with his eyes for sometime before slumping in his chair and sighing miserably a hand rubbing on his temples. How could he lose his cool over some random question? Even if Noiz was only picking on him, with his reactions it's as good as confessing. He thought he had his shit together after a week of what happened but it seems like his mind isn't over it yet. Of course it wouldn't be. He loved Aoba for _years_. It's not going to fade away immediately just because he has a boyfriend and Koujaku decided to let him go.

The waitress handed him his bill and he paid for it before Noiz came back. The blond stood in front of him and stared and he stared back before sighing and standing as well. "Come on I'll drive you home before you get rained on and multiply." He muttered as he passed the other by.

 

* * *

 

Once standing outside, red orbs looked at the sky that was menacing in its own way. Dark and heavy looking, he could hear the rumble and crack of lightning and thunder from afar. Damn, it's going to rain down hard, but hopefully only for a while.

He walked towards his car but noticed that the blond didn't move from his spot from the exit, eyes focused intently on his phone screen the light coming from it making Noiz's already pale face glow with this eerie look making him seem sick. "Oi brat." He called. "If you don't hurry up we'll get caught in the rain."

The blond turned his head to him, frowning at the insult before flipping him the finger and walking off. "Thanks for the meal but I have to be somewhere. You could go ahead without me."

Koujaku opened his mouth to call the kid back but stopped as he disappeared in a corner. He frowned, giving up on the blond, and getting in his car to go to Mizuki's.

 

* * *

 

"So you're saying that he's being really perceptive?" Mizuki asked as he cleaned one of the glasses. 

There wasn't much business happening in Black Needle considering that it was still very much early in the night and Koujaku was his only customer. Talking to Mizuki would be easier like this, without the distraction of other people asking for drinks.

"I'm saying that he's really putting his head into places he's not supposed to." Koujaku said drinking from his glass. He immediately went here after Noiz left because the way the kid questioned him had made him uneasy and he promised Mizuki that he's not going to drop off from the face of the earth again like he did the last time things got out of hand.

The other hummed. "Maybe he's just really perceptive. Or you’re really just that obvious.” Mizuki stopped what he did and looked at him, which made him look back at the other. There was a worried look on Mizuki’s face and that didn’t feel right in the long haired man’s stomach. “Are you really alright though?”

A frown was making it’s way on Koujaku’s face again. He knew that the other was worried, yes, but he could handle himself. He’s a grown man and he’ll just have to realize that not everything that he wants could be attained just like that. Life’s unfair and you just had to deal with it. He let his chance with Aoba go when he kept silent all those years and now that he couldn’t do anything about it, he’ll just have to suck it up. “I’m fine. It’s not easy but it’s not like I’ll die because of it. In a way it’s my fault I didn’t make a move all those years.” He said and took a sip, the burn of the alcohol suddenly very evident.

The tattoo artist could only sigh and shake his head. “Maybe it was a wrong move to ask Aoba to bring Ren immediately."

This time it's Koujaku's turn to sigh. He could see that Mizuki felt guilty about this, and he couldn't stop him from that, considering that it was Mizuki who gave the idea to bring Ren over but it's not all his fault as Koujaku also commented on wanting to meet Ren. "Look, Mizuki, you don't have to feel so bad about this. Maybe it's just not meant to be. You don't have to beat yourself about this just because I had my heartbroken and it's because we both thought inviting Ren over would be a good idea."

Mizuki looked like he's going to protest again but before he could say anything a loud clap of thunder resonated inside the bar and a flash of lightning illuminated the place through the window, leaving things in black and white for a moment. It was then followed by the first drop of rain, big and heavy by the sound of how it hit Black Needle's roof. "Well here comes the rain." Mizuki muttered eyes trained to the window.

Koujaku’s thoughts went back to his blond student unconsciously, suddenly wondering if he got home by now or if he's still out there caught in the rain. Fuck. Why does it _matter_ if he's getting wet or what? It's not like he cares. For fucks sake get a _grip_ Koujaku.

"I heard you opened up shop last Sunday." Mizuki started, catching the other's attention again. "One of my clients started talking about it when I was working on one of her tattoos. Not sure if you remember her though, the brunette one with the dream catcher tattoo on her nape."

"Ah." in fact he does remember her. She was the one he was working on with when he thought he saw Noiz. And then his thoughts turned to what he said about Aoba. Fuck. He can’t believe he’s being riled up over such little things. He groaned and placed his face in his hands. "I need to get laid damn it."

Mizuki burst out laughing as he heard that comment and he could only shake  his head at that. "Oh my god. Did you really have to say that out loud? You like her or something? I won't blame you, she does look pretty."

Koujaku nearly pouted and just finished his drink. "I won't say that if I were you. Sei might get jealous." at his teasing Mizuki's face gained a few shades of red and he stuttered for a bit.

Now it wasn't something hidden that Mizuki and Aoba’s twin brother, Sei, had something going on between the two of them and Dry Juice and all of those who knew about it respected that. In a sense it would look like Sei is the heralded queen or princess of Dry Juice. Not that Mizuki’s flaunting him around like some random girl to be ogled at - although the leader does treasure Sei a lot.

At the start of the relationship it hadn't been that awkward. All of them had been friends when they were younger and are already close, although Sei didn't join Rib and things like that but rather prefers to stay at home to study, unlike his brother. When Aoba and Sei started college that's when Mizuki finally had the guts and backbone to pursue the black haired beauty.

Back then Sei had clearly shown interest back towards the bartender but had been demure about it. He started to spend more time around the bar, helping around and talking to some of the Rib members that hang around the place - they were actually the one who started calling Sei "princess" - which Mizuki does find fitting and had ended up using it as a pet name. But even though it's like that, Sei only agreed to going out with Mizuki when he was in his last year of college but everything was going well for the two of them.

Another reason why Mizuki had been adamant on making Koujaku confess his feelings but the other had kept on saying that it wasn't the proper time yet. He made all sorts of excuses not to confess to Aoba at that time and look at where it got him now. Koujaku frowned at the memory. Going back to the topic at hand, Mizuki and Sei had been together for a few years now and they really seem to be going strong despite the sudden long distance relationship.

"How is he anyway? How are you guys?" Koujaku asked. After all of these things happening to him about Aoba, Mizuki had taken it to himself not to talk much about Sei. Only throwing in his name once in a while as an act of sensitivity. He thinks that Mizuki felt bad for him considering both his best friends are in a loving relationship and here he was heartbroken by one of them.

The burgundy haired sized him up before feeling his face flush and he looked down, the new highball glass he was polishing suddenly looked very interesting. "He... he's doing good. I mean he seems happy in his work place, not that stressful for him yet and he really seems to enjoy the paper work and exposure to other people. I mean, he said he wanted to spread his horizons and he's not really that sociable before but he wanted to change that so I guess talking to clients and stuff helped a lot. And the other day he told me that there was this place that he'd like to go to with me cause the cakes are really, really good and I---" he stopped mid sentence when he realized that he was gushing over his boyfriend and his face burned red, stealing glances at Koujaku hoping that the other didn't feel offended or bad about it.

There was only a smile on Koujaku's face, finding the flustered Mizuki amusing. He had always been this way towards Sei even before they got together. When they were opening up to each other about their feelings for the siblings, Mizuki had always been the one to gush and if possible fanboy over his black haired partner. He waved a hand as if to dismiss Mizuki's worry and urged him to continue but the other's mouth was already tightly shut and he could only sigh. "Well at least the two of you seems to be doing well. It's good to hear about him too, I hope he'll be able to go home soon."

Mizuki meekly smiled and nodded adding a soft; "Yeah, I hope so too."

"Or you could always go there." Koujaku added, a smirk on his lips.

The bartender gave him this look that could be translated as _'Are you crazy?'_ and he did vocalize that too. "I can't just leave here. There's Dry Juice and Black Needle and Rib and..."

Koujaku raised an eyebrow at this, it's not like Mizuki to actually hold himself back when it comes to Sei. "And...?"

"And I don't want to bother him." The burgundy haired crossed his arms over his chest. "I know he's busy."

"So...? It's not like you didn't do it when he was in university. You'd go to the university just so you could pick him up and you could eat out. What's different now?" The professor reasoned.

Mizuki looked surprised at that before his lips turned into a sheepish smile as if he couldn't believe he even thought of making excuses of meeting up with Sei. He ruffled his hair and shook his head before looking back at Koujaku with a thankful smile but then realized how far off topic they had become. "Wait up. I'm pretty sure that we were talking about you and this kid not the other way around."

Koujaku snorted. "There is no such thing as 'you and this kid'. I was just ranting." he finished the rest of his drink and took out his wallet placing a few bills under his glass. Mizuki made a troubled face at this.

“You’re leaving already? But it’s pouring hard out there.”

Koujaku smiled and shrugged. “I do have a car you know. I’ll be fine. I’ll see you around yeah?” The other looked like he was about to protest but could only sigh and nod. Waving back at the leaving man.

 

* * *

 

Inside his car Koujaku could only think of how he couldn't wait to get home to be warm. Forcefully dismissing thoughts of a certain blond haired, green eyed student of his and the question of whether or not he got home before it started to rain.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, another update. I'm not that busy yet but as soon as we hit the next few weeks towards holiday break I'm sure that I'll get busier. Holidays aren't really holidays for me, I guess. /cries a little more
> 
> Thank you for those who gave kudos and would continue to support this story. Please drop by my [tumblr](http://seingemini.tumblr.com) so we could talk. I'll be extremely happy to get messages from you guys as well as feed back. O v O
> 
> This chapter title is from Nick Lahey's "What's left of me" I couldn't find the right songs for my chapters goodness but this is really a nice song tho. ; v ; I'll probably edit them in the future once I find the right ones.


	7. I could stick around and get along with you

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay. So here goes. It's my birthday today and I think that all of you deserves an update and I apologize for not being able to put this up earlier. This is very, very raw. As in almost un-edited and I haven't done any margin breaks or what-so-ever because it's really late here, my birthday's ending and I'm a little sick. So here's a gift to you guys because you guys are awesome. q w q I'll be editing everything the day after tomorrow as I still have work, so I'll explain further about my disappearance, next time. So there, please bear with it for now or come back to it later on when it's edited.
> 
> Thank you for being there and supporting this fic and reading and giving it a try. I could never ask more from you guys. You are awesome and you've always made me feel great. Thank you.
> 
> EDIT:   
> Hello everyone! I know it's been a while and I actually don't know what to say and how to explain myself about my absence. It's just that life started to get hectic - college stuff, (you might say that it's not considering that I was able to post a couple of other fics while this wasn't getting updated) but the real reason why I haven't been able to is that I had trouble with re-writing this chapter. This was originally halfway written when the Noiz Drama CD came out and finally explaining some of the vague things about Noiz's past. 
> 
> I might be able to post a couple of chapters soon. (Depending on how free I might be these next few weeks and how fast I could proofread my work.) But despite that I'm very thankful for the comments and kudos you left. I'm very, very happy to have you guys. Thank you always. I hope that you would continue to read this fic.

Noiz's hair clung to his face, his hoodie looked like it was a second skin already and he could feel the sogginess of his shoes as he shifted on one foot to another.

When he stumbled inside his apartment, he just kicked off his sneakers, closed the door, locked it, then he made a beeline to his room.

His place was actually big for someone living alone. It had a living room, joined to the kitchen at the side. The dining room was within the kitchen area as well, adorned only by a table and two chairs; He didn’t have many visitors other than Clear and some fuck buddies but then even those he tries not to bring around here. Then there was a common bathroom. After that there was his room with an adjoined bathroom which were both fairly sized, the bathroom even had a bathtub, which was weird but he wouldn’t be complaining about that. The downside of this was that it was located in the not so safe part of the city. But then which part of the city is safe anyway? Besides it was cheaper than the other apartments he saw.

On his way to the bedroom he started stripping. His jacket came off first, followed by his shirt, his socks - leaving the wet clothing on the floor. As soon as he entered his room, he was down to his boxers, which he didn’t remove anymore. He then face planted on his bed; the smell of old sheets, sweat and pizza on it.

Inhaling the scent, he closed his eyes feeling tired all of a sudden, he didn’t even know why he agreed on going to the area where the trade was going to happen when there were other Ruff Rabbit members that could be utilized. The clients were the same people from two days ago, but this time they handed over the cash properly rather than trying to coerce it out of him - he thinks that maybe they were just that desperate already.

Well whatever. He had his share of the cash anyway and he felt better with a full stomach. Pulling one of his pillow to him, he held it close and drifted off to a dreamless sleep.

 

* * *

 

Some time later he was woken up from sleep because of his phone ringing. His ringtone for some reason was on full blast - he was sure it was on silent last night. Trying to ignore the call and wanting to sleep more, he pulled the covers up and curled into a ball, muffling the sound minimally. Soon after that, the call ended. Relief went through him, his body relaxing with the thought of finally being able to drift back to unconsciousness.

Unfortunately for him as soon as he was drifting off, his phone started to ring again. With a frustrated sigh he threw the covers off him to look for the phone.

Following the music, he located his pants on the floor by the door. Rummaging through the pocket, he took out the small device, squinting at the screen to read Clear's name flashing. A picture of him grinning widely with a peace sign at the background. Sighing, he sluggishly walked back to bed, falling on it as he answered the call.

"..."

"Noiz!"

Clear's cheerful voice sounded from across the phone, it was laced with something like relief. He could practically hear the other give out a breath of relief. He closed his eyes again, pulling the covers around him as he waited for the other to continue.

"Noiz I tried calling earlier but you weren't answering your phone. Anyway, do you remember that exam we're going to have in history? I thought we could study together, plus the twins aren't here today since they have their field trip for the weekend. What do you think? It'll be super easy to study since it's quiet or we could go to the library or a cafe or maybe I'll just go there so you don't have to go here." And the words somehow draw out a little later on.

Noiz kept his eyes shut the whole time Clear made plans for the weekend. He couldn’t believe that he wasn’t actually objecting to anything about this. "Clear." He started, his voice a bit hoarse from sleep. "What time is it?"

"5:30!" Clear answered like it was the most appropriate of times to call to talk about exams and plan how they should spend a Saturday together. "Maybe I'll bring some food. Did you eat last night? You had the tutorial session with Koujaku-sensei, right? How did it go? You didn’t do anything half-assed again did you?"

The blond male, blinked at that and yawned. "Yeah. Just come over." He answered, although not really answering which one. Noiz could almost see the huge smile on Clear's face and the way he was moving around the house getting ready.

"Alright! I'll come over at around 8-"

"12."

"9-ish." Clear said firmly. Bargaining with Clear when he was this excited was futile and Noiz could only shake his head. Pressing his face on his pillow, he forced himself not to sigh. Sometimes he could only picture Clear as an overgrown kid. Who even gets excited over studying for an exam? "I'll bring food. Make sure you're up and about already by that time okay? I'll see you in a while! Bye-bye!" And then the line dropped.

He liked Clear but there were times when he hated him. This was one of those times. Throwing his phone to one side of the bed, he pulled the covers up again and hoped that he’d still be able to catch some sleep before the other would arrive.

 

* * *

 

Four hours later, Noiz was opening the door for Clear to come in. The albino, happily let himself in and navigated his way through the living room to the kitchen, humming as he went. Noiz closed the door, locking it before following the other to the kitchen and sitting on one of the seats. He wasn't able to sleep well after the call and when Clear came around, the doorbell and his phone started to ring at the same time, forcing him to stand and attend to the other.

Rubbing a hand on his face, he leaned down on the table top and closed his eyes as he listened to Clear move around the kitchen before gasping and reprimanding him about how he should clean up after he eats and throw away the trash - which he does eventually, he was just caught up with things this week but didn't reason out to the other. Clear meant well, he wasn’t going to chastise him over that.

"So how did the tutorial go?" Clear asked over the sound of bowls and plates being moved around. He should probably help set up the table but he wasn't up to it, besides he was sure that the other would tell him that he’d do it himself.

"Nothing special. We went out for dinner after though." He answered nonchalantly.

A plate landed on the table suddenly, the sound of china clicking together making him sit up and stare at Clear in surprised. There was a worried look on Clear's face - although he could see something different in his eyes - that looked a bit conflicted. "Just the two of you? You just ate? He didn't do anything did he? I mean..." The white haired male sat down opposite him and locked eyes with him. "He didn't force you or anything?"

Noiz raised an eyebrow at this. "No. He didn't." A frown was making it's way on his lips. Didn't Clear trust him that he could take care of himself? "I know how to fight. You don't have to keep on making it seem like I'm a child or something."

The tension on Clear's shoulder seemed to have been relieved a little but he still had this worried look in his eyes - and that something that Noiz couldn't read still - before he shook his head, his eyebrows still knitted together. "I know you can. It's just, you don't like doing stuff like that remember? Not with people you don't know at least." Clear reasoned and Noiz had to stop himself from reacting surprised.

Did it matter if he ate out with someone else? It was just _dinner_. Besides he was hungry at that time and he only agreed because of that same reason, and the free food of course. He kept frowning, his eyebrows furrowing as well. "It was free food and I was hungry. At least I didn't have to pay, I ate a _ton_ and I'm pretty sure he's never going to do it again."

The white haired male seem to perk up from that, although he looked shocked now. "You want to have dinner with him again?"

Green eyes widened at that assumption. For a moment all he could do was stare. What the hell was Clear _thinking_? The guy always got on his nerves with his goody-goody and womanizer image. He wouldn't deny the fact that he did have a nice car and he felt comfortable having dinner with him. In fact he wasn't able to terrorize Koujaku the way he wanted to yesterday but he blamed that for being hungry. The thing was that they were actually pretty quiet only speaking every once in a while to comment about their food and the ambiance of the place. Somehow that sounded like it was a da- Shaking his head to remove the thought, he gave Clear a glare, crossing his arms. "No. The old man was probably just some sort of pervert or something. I just didn't want to lose the chance of getting a free meal that's all."

Clear kept his eyes on him for a while, as if reading him. Noiz still had the frown on his face, trying to show that he wasn’t interested in the professor by any means; if that was what Clear was getting at by asking him questions like that. He wasn't sure what the white haired male saw in his eyes but he just sat back in his chair, smiling a little at him, confusing Noiz even more.

"Well, I just wanted to make sure you're fine Noiz." With that Clear stood up very suddenly, taking the bowl with him again. "I should finish up, I'm sure you're hungry. I brought some French toast and eggs. I have bacon too!" He grinned before he went behind the counter separating the kitchen from the dining room.

Frowning still, Noiz rubbed his face with the palms of his hand then stood up to make some coffee for the both of them. He was seriously not liking Clear today.

 

* * *

 

An hour later the two were sitting on Noiz’s floor in the living room, notes and other materials covered the whole coffee table. Their hands working on either writing down important notes or highlighting dates and names in their handouts. They’ve only just begun but the two were already very invested with the subject.

Contrary to popular belief that Noiz was a delinquent student, he was actually a scholar who did keep his grades up to keep the scholarship grant. It was the same with Clear, although Clear was... well Clear. He does the right things on the time when they're needed. Noiz on the other hand is a crammer most of the time; he's not some kind of genius - at least not when it came to things not related with technology - but he does actually listen and take down notes during class. If he missed one, there's always Clear to back him up.

So that was actually where this whole selling information to pay for bills stems from, and even though he's missing class, he's making up to it because the money he gets from Rhyming practically goes to school and his other needs.

Clear sat up straight and stretched, looking over at Noiz who was reading his handout intently. They usually have these study sessions together whenever a big test comes around, especially during finals. It was normal for them to sleep at each other's place, though usually it was at Clear's place since he had to look after the twins. In his honest opinion though the two could look out for each other with the way they bully their older brother. Regardless of this fact though, Clear still loves his brothers unconditionally and would always look out for them. Especially now that they're under their father's wing.

\---

The year he was finally let out of the room was the time when his parents wanted him to go to college in order to inherit the company. With the price of his freedom in line, he argued that he didn’t want to stay in Germany to study but would rather go to Japan to do so. Even going as far as using his grandmother’s name and success for the idea to appeal to them. At first, his parents objected, threatening to throw him back into his room, but eventually they relented. They thought it was a good way for him to exercise how to be independent.

So they sent him and a butler to Japan, Midorijima to be exact, to take the entrance exam at the university and then back to Germany afterwards. His parents told him that if he didn’t pass, then he wouldn’t be leaving Germany any time soon and that he’d take his college degree there.

The results came in a few months later. He passed.

The second time he was in Japan he was all by himself. They came to an agreement that they’d give him a bank account where he could use the money from there to pay for everything he needed. For university, lodgings, food, and whatever else he needed but would only be given an allowance once a month. He never dared use the money after the first few months.

He met Clear on his second time in Japan.

 

* * *

 

Rhyme had been a thing back then already, even in Europe, and he had been playing for sometime. When people found out that one of the names at the top players list was in Japan, people started to gather around Noiz asking for a match. With this though, Noiz thought of using it to gain money for himself, which worked to his advantage considering that people were underestimating him with his looks.

The matches brought so much thrill for the first part but as time passed by, he grew weary when he couldn't find an opponent that could actually defeat him. Ruff Rabbit was also starting to form then with the help of a guy who he beat but thought that they’d actually work together and make a business out of Noiz’s popularity and continuous wins. The business started out with bets but moved to them being information brokers to when and where major Rhyme battles were to occur.

His title was going smoothly, until this player named “Sly Blue” came around and broke Noiz’s undefeated record. It was a hard blow for the blond’s pride but when he tried to track where this user was stationed he couldn’t find them anywhere. It was as if he wiped away his existence. Noiz was left in the dark soon after that but the business continued to boom despite this event. He thrived with money they got from their “job”.

 

* * *

 

The day he met Clear, he was nearly passed out on the street with the injuries he sustained from the fight he got himself into. The white haired male panicked before he brought back Noiz to their residence. If he could remember correctly the twins were actually quite helpful then and was doing what they’re told by Clear as the other started to treat his wounds. The white haired male offered to bring him to the hospital but he refused, scared and wary of anyone finding out his condition. The next day he was out of the house, praying he would never meet the enthusiastic white haired male ever again.

 

* * *

 

A week after that event, classes started officially.

Despite being locked inside a room, he was home schooled. His teachers came and went, only doing what they were paid for and not answering any questions not related to their subjects. He thought that maybe if he pleased them, keep his grades up, his parents would at least come by and talk to him. Let Theo play with him. Let him out.

So he tried, he did his best to do everything he could to make them proud, pleased his teachers with perfectly scored quizzes, studied day and night to be able to answer their questions and in the end, even with good marks, his parents never came, and Theo could only talk to him in the wee hours of the morning.

He didn’t want to leave his younger brother behind but it was the only way to get out. He always felt guilty leaving Theo, but then even before they knew of his condition, Theo had been the one that everybody was fond of. It took him a while to be able to start talking to his brother again, afraid that there was bad blood between the two of them. Theo never got upset and was actually quite happy that he got out, despite not being able to stay together.

 

* * *

 

It was the first day of college when Noiz found a familiar looking white haired man in one of his class. He tried his best not to be noticed by the other and it seemed that it worked, at least for that particular class. The following class he had the same guy in his room and so was the class after that.

Clear eventually noticed and started talking to him, asking if he felt fine now and that he should’ve mentioned he was going to this college in particular. Noiz had been quiet the whole time. Clear didn’t seem to care.

 

* * *

 

Days later, Noiz found out that Clear was in all of his classes. It also turned out that they were taking up the same course program. This only seemed to hype up the white haired male and then decided that they would be sticking together for the whole semester. Which turned to a school year. A summer break. And then another year.

Somehow, Noiz had been able to trust someone to a certain degree besides himself and Theo, albeit doubts still cover his mind, he let’s Clear stay by his side.

 

* * *

 

A snap brought Noiz’s attention back to his current situation. It seemed that he zoned out or fell asleep halfway through reading his handout and he blinked a few times to see Clear’s fingers in front of him. “Welcome back Noiz.”

Green orbs turned to look up at the other and was confused, although it didn’t show on his face. “What?”

Clear’s eyes crinkle at the side as he smiled fondly. “You were so into reading, you fell asleep. I asked if you wanted to go out for coffee though.”

Noiz tilted his head a little before feeling his stomach grumble, nodding. Coffee sounded good. Looking at the watch situated near the hallway, Noiz had taken into account that he had fallen asleep for a while, leaving Clear to study alone. The other must’ve seen something on his face and smiled warmly at him, easing some of the guilt away. “What time did you sleep last night?”

The blond male thought for some time before he rubbed at his eyes and replied weakly. “Two something. There was work.”

Clear’s eyes narrowed a little with worry but he kept his mouth shut, preferring to stand up and pat his pants, smoothening out the creases. “Come on, let’s get something to wake you up before we continue.” He said with a smile.

Noiz stood as well, getting his jacket, keys and wallet before heading to the door with Clear. Maybe it wasn’t one of those days that he hated Clear.

 

* * *

 

It was just coincidence though that they would stumble upon Koujaku and Mink lined up to order when they entered the cafe they frequent.

It should’ve have been awkward. But it wasn’t, what with Clear greeting them cheerily. Although the way Koujaku looked at Noiz was something that made the blond uneasy. He was giving him that “look” again. The one he couldn’t understand when Koujaku would stare at him. They lined up behind them, Noiz going silent, Clear approaching the history teacher.

"Were you able to get home before it started raining?” The older male asked him.

Noiz glaned at him for a moment, Clear was invested with a certain topic with Mink - his hands making a lot gestures - to spare them any attention. He sighed, shook his head and stuffed his hands in his backpocket. “No.”

Koujaku looked distraught at that. “Oh.” Red eyes turned to check at the line that moved a little, taking a small step so that they’re little group would move as well before they settled back to him. “I hope you drank vitamins though. You might catch a cold.”

The blond scoffed at that. “You’re being worried about me. I’m touched.” he said mockingly.

The older man frowned at that and kept quiet. Choosing to turn his back to the other and wait for the line to move. Noiz kept silent as well. There was nothing left to say. Besides, it was better not to meddle around with each other.

Clear was still invested with Mink, chuckling and giggling and blushing every once in a while. Well if Mink didn’t notice the attraction Clear felt towards him, then he was so fucking _dense_. He turned away from them, opting to stare at Koujaku’s back, noting that he had really nice shoulder blades under the dress shirt he wore.

 

* * *

 

They got their orders to-go rather than staying there. Clear looked like he would like to protest, he probably wanted to stay more because of Mink, but when he noticed that Koujaku and Noiz weren’t talking, he merely sighed and nodded.

The two said their goodbyes, Mink reminding them of the exam on Monday and then Koujaku butting in about meeting Noiz on Wednesday. The blond nodded in acknowledgement, leaving soon after.

Noiz was quiet on the way home. Sipping from the cup slowly as to not burn himself. Sure he couldn’t feel anything on his body but weirdly enough he’s particularly sensitive with his mouth. So focused was he in savoring the bittersweet taste of his beverage that he almost missed Clear’s question.

“What did you two talk about?”

“Who?”

“Koujaku-sensei!” Clear looked offended here.

“Ah.” Green orbs turned to look at the white haired male. “Nothing? He just asked whether I got home before it started raining.” Clear opened his mouth to say something else, probably going to ask if he took his vitamins too but he immediately changed the topic. “How about you? You were very invested with Mink-san.”

Color spread through Clear’s cheeks like wild fire. “He was just explaining some of the things we didn’t understand about the topic.”

Noiz only hummed in acknowledgement. Well, whatever Clear says. Obviously it’s not that but let the other think that he didn’t know about the other’s crush with their history professor. He’d just have to wait for the other to tell him himself if he wants the topic to be talked about anyway.

Now, what should they have for dinner?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from Hello by Martin Solveig and Dragonette


	8. Now when I caught myself, I had to stop myself

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhh, I'm really sorry for not posting in months. It's just that college started again and along with my thesis I have to do all of my other majors too. I hope that you guys would understand.
> 
> Also, I would like to thank everyone who's still sticking with this fic even though I haven't been updating as much as I did before. I hope you would continue to read this.

"Huh?"

Green orbs turned to look at him, confusion evident in them as Noiz straightened up his posture. Attention finally focused on the professor in front of him.

Koujaku frowned at the blond's distraction. He had to call his name and snap his fingers a few times before Noiz turned to look at him. This was going on for the past five minutes, mind you.

"What's up with you? You're more distracted from usual."

Noiz merely raised his eyebrow at this before shrugging. "I'm fine. I just spaced out. This is done by the way." He answered, shoving the paper he was writing on towards Koujaku.

The dark haired male frowned even more and took the paper, his fingers slightly brushing against the other.

As he was reading through, he noticed Noiz had buried his face in his arms over the table, his sleeping position. Sighing, Koujaku continued on with checking the paper. Maybe he was being paranoid. Why does he care about Noiz's well being anyway? The brat was being well... a brat. He doesn't listen, doesn't do his work, and also, extremely rude at times. He really shouldn't involve himself anymore with this kid.

 

* * *

 

When he finished with the paper Koujaku felt extremely irritated. Midterms season was coming in fast and Noiz was still fucking around with his subject. Feeling offended, he shook Noiz awake, his hand on the other's shoulder.

The reaction was instantaneous. Noiz sat up, surprise written on his face, eyes wide and body tense as he stared at Koujaku. The older male pulled his hand back as soon as he noticed the other's reaction, giving him a concerned look.

"Seriously though, what is up with you??"

Noiz still seemed a bit out of it as he didn't retort back immediately, opting to rub at his eyes and run a hand through his hair. "I just got startled. What now?" he asked, irritation lacing his voice.

He couldn't believe this. The brat had the nerve to actually be irritated with him. Taking a deep breath, Koujaku forced himself to calm down.

"Okay. Look." He opened his record book and turned it towards Noiz, showing him his grades. "You have to understand that despite our remedial sessions you still have to work with your class standing and I could only do so much with these make up works you do." He took a steadying breath here. He wasn't sure how Noiz would react with him snooping around a bit about him. "And I've only found out recently that you're a scholar and as a teacher of course I don't want you to lose that because of a failing mark. You have to work with me to keep your grades up."

Noiz had an amused look on his face. “You actually checked me out? Really? Am I that interesting?”

Koujaku slammed his hand on the table making a few people look at them. He knew that letting anger take over him wouldn’t help but Noiz was pushing it. “This isn’t a joke Noiz! We’re talking about your scholarship being on the line here okay? You have to get serious about these sort of things.”

The blond clicked his tongue, looking as irritated as Koujaku was and looked away. “Stop acting like Clear, I’ve had enough berating from him. I don’t need to hear it from you too.”

“See! Even Clear reminds you to do things properly. Look, you just have to give more effort.”

Noiz started frowning at him, glaring even, before he started fixing his things. “You’re being demanding. It’s bothersome.” He muttered and Koujaku was out of words to say. What did he have to do for this kid to listen to him?

“I’m leaving.” Noiz said. As he stood up, he swayed for a bit and Koujaku was out of his chair in that instant, hands on Noiz’s arms to steady him.

“You okay? What happened?” He asked, his voice’s pitch raised a little as he panicked.

“I got a little dizzy.” Noiz muttered. The student steadied himself by placing one hand on the table and the other on Koujaku’s wrist. His fingers wrapped tightly on the older man’s appendage, eyes closing shut for a moment. Koujaku looked at him worriedly, feeling the heat coming from the hand, he let go of Noiz’s arm and pressed the back of his hand to the young man’s neck.

“Why didn’t you say you were sick?? I could’ve just let you stay home today.” Koujaku frowned and let the other go once Noiz seemed to be able to stand on his own. “I’ll bring you to the nurse office come on.” He said, fixing his things immediately.

Noiz pouted a little, shaking his head like a kid. “I don’t want to.”

“Do you really have to be stubborn at a time like this?”

“Do you always have to sound like my mother?” Noiz hissed the last part as if the very thought of his mother taking care of him was repulsive.

Koujaku leveled him with his gaze measuring what exactly that anger meant but let it drop for another time. Noiz getting some rest was the first priority than his curiousity. “Fine. I’ll drive you home.”

The blond’s eyebrows furrowed. “No. I’m not going to tell you where I live.”

“To Clear’s then.” Koujaku said, taking Noiz’s bag and slinging it over his shoulder where his was as well before tugging on the other’s wrist so they could leave.

“He’s busy with his brothers. I don’t want to intrude.”

God, wasn’t this kid infuriating.

“Fine! Fine! Just hurry up.” He said and continued to pull on the other’s wrist towards the parking lot.

 

* * *

 

“Where are we going?” Noiz asked as he was strapped in the passenger seat and Koujaku was starting up the engine.

“My place.”

“Already bedding your student? You’re really a perverted old man.” Noiz chuckled, leaning in his seat to getting comfortable.

“Whatever. It’s just to make sure you get a little rest. For all I know you don’t even have medicine at your place. I told you I can’t have you missing out on anymore of my classes. I’m just making sure you’re alright.” Koujaku defended himself. To be honest he’s not sure why he even thought of bringing Noiz back at his place. Why the hell does he even _care_?

Noiz only hummed in agreement and looked out the window. Silent. Koujaku thought that maybe he was finally getting some sleep, the drive back at his place might take a little bit longer considering that it was already the start of the rush hour. Add that it started raining too. The professor was lulled in a comfortable silence, the only sound inside the car was their breathing and the soft music playing on the radio.

It was broken when Noiz suddenly spoke.

“Are you always this worried about your students?”

“What do you mean? I always look out for my students.”

Green orbs turned to look at him. “You bring them home all the time?”

Koujaku frowned at that. The implication of bringing his students home brought some distasteful feelings in his gut. But then what does bringing Noiz home imply? He shook his head. “No. I don’t.”

“Then aren’t you going out of the way for a brat like me?”

He was. He really was. Noiz had a point. He kept saying he doesn’t care but he was invested with Noiz. For some weird reason, he was. He didn’t know where it started but he was curious about this German kid that doesn’t seem to have any other friends other than Clear and enjoys teasing him a lot and a very perceptive kid when it comes to him having problems with Aoba.

“I just really don’t want you to fail. It makes me feel guilty.”

“Then you should just let me pass.”

“And be unfair to your classmates and be guilty about it later? How about no.” he answered looking at him in the eyes as they stopped at a stop light.

Noiz hummed again before turning his eyes away from him. “I guess so.” he muttered and silence settled on the two of them again.

This time it stayed that way.

 

* * *

 

When they got to his place, he carried Noiz’s things still. Noiz attempted to take it from him but he moved away from his reach, locking the car at the same time. 

“You know I’m not an invalid you know. I could carry my things.” Noiz protested as he followed Koujaku to the front door. He didn’t bother taking his things back from the professor though.

The older man just shrugged and opened the door, letting Noiz enter first before closing it. “Remove your shoes before you get in.” he said as he leaned on the wall to remove his own.

Noiz was sitting down on the floor, leaning on the wall as well as he sluggishly removed his sneakers. Koujaku placed his shoes away before taking any further steps into his home. The blond following behind him quietly.

As soon as they were in the living room, he placed their thing on an arm chair and motioned for Noiz to sit down on the couch which the other did without any protest. “How are you feeling? Are you still dizzy? Headache?”

The blond looked a bit confused and troubled at that before shrugging. “I don’t really feel anything?”

The professor frowned. “Can you drop the bullshit? Tell me the truth so I could get you the proper medicine.” He said sternly, arms crossing in front of his chest.

Noiz seemed to consider it a bit. “I guess I feel … tired? My body’s a little heavy, yeah.”

Koujaku shook his head. Noiz might be coming down with a flu. Hopefully he could prevent it from getting worse. “Have you eaten anything?”

Noiz scowled. “We’ve been together for what? Four hours? No. Obviously I haven’t.”

This gained Noiz a raised eyebrow. “Okay? No need to be cranky brat. I’ll make you some soup. You should get some rest. My room’s that way.” He said, pointing at a door at the far end of the hall.

Noiz was the one to raise an eyebrow at this. “You really that eager to get me in your bed, old man?”

“More like it’s more comfortable than the couch. But if you want to take the couch be my guest.” He shrugged, walking towards the kitchen. “By the way, even if you snoop around my room you won’t find anything, so just stay on the bed okay?”

Noiz flipped him the finger as he stood, Koujaku merely smirked. “Whatever old man, not interested in your stash of porn.”

“You won’t find any!” Koujaku called out from the kitchen, already looking inside the fridge on what he could make for the student.

 

* * *

 

Half an hour later, Koujaku went to check up on Noiz to find him asleep, nestled under the blankets and pillows that surrounded him. A small smile was on his face, finding the image of Noiz sleeping like a kid. He looked peaceful, relaxed, if not for his somewhat heavy breathing.

Placing a hand on Noiz’s neck he checked for his temperature and sure enough he felt warmer. He wasn’t able to give Noiz any medicine before he went to sleep because he hasn’t eaten anything yet.

Exiting the room to get some of the chicken soup and medicine, he came back with a tray in hand and placed it at the bedside table. Shaking the other’s shoulder slightly to rouse him, Koujaku couldn’t help but smile a little at the way Noiz curled in a little more to himself and then rubbed his eyes to wake up, muttering things he couldn’t understand. Probably protests about how he wanted to sleep more.

“Come on brat, you need to eat and drink meds. You could go back to sleep after.” He said gently before sitting down at the edge of the bed as Noiz sluggishly sat up, rubbing at his eyes still.

When the other was sitting up properly, he placed the tray on Noiz’s lap.

Green eyes looked at the food with disinterest but had started to eat soon. One spoonful after the other and then within a few minutes he was done. “It tasted fine. If you were waiting for that.” The student murmured and kept his eyes down as he drank his medicines. Koujaku couldn’t have been prouder. He was expecting Noiz to criticize it harshly.

“That’s nice.” He took the tray away and stood. “You should get some more sleep. I’ll drive you back to your place when you get enough rest.”

Noiz had settled down in his nest again and was looking at him weirdly. Koujaku looked troubled with this. “What is it? Do you need anything?”

“Nothing.” The blond murmured and pulled the covers around him, closing his eyes. The professor continued to watch him for a while before leaving.

Noting that Noiz could be really cute when he wasn’t being a brat.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha, of course I had to write out a sick!Noiz because I'm actually sick and it was really cute in my head so yeah. I hope you liked that. See you guys soon. Or you could drop by my [tumblr](http://seingemini.tumblr.com) account.
> 
> Chapter title is from "I Caught Myself" by Paramore


	9. I've got a need for you forming in my beating heart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ahhhh~~ Hello everyone!! It's been a while since I've given you guys an update so here it is. College's been pretty hectic recently because of my thesis and other majors but I'll try to put up the next chapter soon. Thank you for everyone that continues to support and read this fic. It means a lot to me. ; w ;

“Are you part of the yakuza?”

Koujaku nearly fell from his seat when he heard Noiz’s voice from across the room. He had stayed in the kitchen to check some of the papers he had been avoiding the past couple of days and turned to look at the blond male standing by the archway that divides the living room and kitchen.

He was confused at first before his right hand immediately went to the right side of his face to cover it. He thought that Noiz would be sleeping for a little more, it had only been a little over three hours since he made him drink the medicines. He had tied back most of his hair, only a few strands from his fringe was left and the tattoo on the side of his face was exposed.

“You’re not supposed to be awake yet.” He said, trying to calm down, his heart beating in his chest ready to burst. Koujaku started to remove the elastic he used to tie his hair back so it would cover his face once more.

“Did you need anything?” Yes. Acting like Noiz didn’t see anything would be better. He’s not sure how he should explain to the kid that, yes he had been part of the yakuza even though he didn’t want to.

Noiz looked like he wanted to pursue the subject but then he must’ve seen something on his face and dropped it, opting to sit across Koujaku. “I’m kinda hungry again.”

Koujaku nodded and stood, walking to the stove to heat some of the soup “What do you want? I still have some soup. Or do you want something else? How are you feeling by the way?”

“Soup’s fine.” There was a pause. Koujaku didn’t want to look back. “I’m feeling better. I guess.

“That’s good.” He said as he stood there, back facing the student. He tied his hair into a low pony and swept it over his shoulder.

There was silence between them as they both waited for the soup to heat up. Koujaku was tense. He wasn’t going to disclose any personal things with Noiz. He didn’t need to know anything about it.

When he placed the bowl in front of the teen though, Noiz broke that silence.

“So… are you?”

“Am I?”

“Part of the yakuza?”

There was silence on his part as he sat down. “Eat your soup, kid.”

His heart was still racing in his chest as he took the papers and ignored the look Noiz was giving him. God he wanted the kid to drop the topic. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk about any of his past with some random stranger.

Well…technically Noiz wasn’t a stranger. But he wasn’t someone he knew anything about as well. And with their professional relationship, he doesn’t think it’s appropriate.

The silence stretched on as he continued to check the papers and Noiz ate his soup. He was thankful for it, there was a chance to calm down. He didn’t want to snap at Noiz specially since he was sick.

“How about that person that you're pining for?”

He looked up at that. “What about that person?”

“Aha! So he admits it’s a one sided love.” Noiz said, swinging his spoon from side to side before scooping from his bowl.

Koujaku frowned at this. Why was Noiz being such a nosy brat right now. He stared at him for a while though. Noting the way his cheeks were a bit flushed, probably from the fever, and the small upward curve of his lips as he ate quietly. Such a kid. “Is this really your idea of small talk?”

Noiz shrugged at that. “Tell me about it.”

“About what?” He was getting tired of asking what Noiz was pertaining to. Was it about Aoba? About his tattoo?? Which one?

“Whichever you’re comfortable to talk about I guess.”

He gave the student an incredulous look. “Are you seriously the brat I’m tutoring or someone abducted him and replaced him with a nosy kid?”

Noiz shrugged again, answering in a monotonous way. “Maybe I’m an alien life form who came here to study the human race.”

Koujaku couldn’t believe this but he couldn’t stop himself from giving out a short laugh. Well wasn't that interesting. Noiz seemed surprised as well going by the wide eyed look he was giving him.

“To be honest I don’t want to talk about any of that. I don’t think it’s an appropriate topic right now as well.” It surprised him that he felt a little more calmer now. “It’s something I’m not keen on discussing with my students. Personal life that is." A pause. He considered his words. "Why don’t you talk about yourself?”

Yes. Point the attention else where.

The blonde was quiet this time. Keeping his mouth shut and eyes on Koujaku, as if he was studying him. Then all of a sudden he dropped his gaze and continued eating. The professor watched him for a while before deciding that Noiz lost interest and continued with his work.

“What’s there to talk about?”

Koujaku forced himself not to look up, continuing with sorting the papers on the table. He shrugged. “There’s a lot of things to talk about.” he thought for a moment. This could actually be his chance to know more about Noiz. Maybe if he understood some of his reasons behind his constant absences or the things he does outside of school he could help him out. “Like, what do you do outside class hours. Or where you went after we ate out. What’s the reason behind the scholarship. Stuff like that.”

The older man could only pray that he sounded casual and not some patronizing person. He didn’t want to put any pressure on Noiz, besides it wasn’t like he disclosed anything to the blond when he asked, so it was only fair if Noiz didn’t want to tell him anything.

There was silence again and he forced himself to look up. Noting the furrowed eyebrows and the small frown on the other’s face. It looked like Noiz got upset with the questions. Ah. He was crossing the line, probably. “Well you don’t have to answer you know.”

“You didn’t even answer any of my questions.”

“It was something too personal. And I told you already I don’t think it’s appropriate.”

“So what, you want to talk about my favorite color? What my zodiac is and stuff? That’s boring.”

“Why not?” And Noiz looked surprised now, eyes wide and mouth slightly agape. “Sure. What’s your favorite color? Mine’s red obviously.”

The blond’s mouth opened and closed for a moment before he nodded a little, more to himself so it seems, and muttered a soft; “Obviously.” A pause. “Mine’s green.”

A small smile was on Koujaku’s lips. “Obviously.” He agreed. “When’s your birthday?”

Noiz was frowning again. “It should be in my file? What is this, twenty questions?”

Koujaku sighed, shaking his head. “I’m just trying to get to know you. Why can’t you answer simple questions brat? And just so you know, I’m not making it my habit to look at my student’s file. I only found out you were a scholar through Mink-sensei.”

The student looked conflicted before turning his eyes away and looking down at his bowl, his spoon scooping soup before letting it drip down again. “It’s on the seventeenth of June.”

Ah. It had been a few months  then. Somehow he felt a little disappointed knowing that it had passed already. “Oh. Well, belated happy birthday then. Did you celebrate it with Clear?”

“Why do you sound like a counselor?” Noiz asked, shooting him a quizzical look.

Now that he thought about it, he did sound like one. Well damn. What the hell was he thinking of asking these questions in the first place. Not knowing how to answer he just shrugged. So he moved to the next question, which was actually bugging him for some time already.

“Are you and Clear together?”

Noiz dropped his spoon in his soup and he gave Koujaku an unbelieving look. The professor couldn’t help but raise an eyebrow at the reaction. Well that’s certainly something.

“Why’d you suddenly become interested in that?” Albeit the blond was trying to give off a nonchalant look, there was a certain shift in the way he sat and how his eyebrows furrowed at him.

“You know…” He couldn’t help but smile. Maybe Noiz _did_  like Clear. And even if there wasn’t, he did notice that they were pretty close. A little teasing wouldn’t do any harm, although him teasing the other made something in his stomach churn. “It’s okay to be open with liking someone.”

Noiz continued to look at him like he was crazy before he was able to school his expression into something smug. A smirk was on his lips immediately. Leaning forward he gazed into the older male’s eyes and spoke; “Alright. So what if we are together? You jealous old man?”

Now it was Koujaku’s turn to sputter. He felt heat going on his face and he shook his head. “O-of course not!” The way his voice trembled along with it being a pitch higher was certainly unconvincing.

The blond merely shrugged, putting his attention back to his soup, sloshing his spoon around the bowl. “We’re not together. Clear has his eyes set on someone else.”

Koujaku watched Noiz play with his food before leaning back in his chair and crossing his arms. “Why? do you want to be together?” he asked, not really sure if he wanted to know the real answer to that. It really wasn’t his business.

Green orbs turned to him, as if assessing him if he were reliable or not, before they settled down again. “Nope. I’ve got my eyes on someone else too.” And to his surprise, the green orbs were back at him.

He wasn’t sure what to think about the implication of Noiz’s actions were so he didn’t give it anymore meaning. It made Koujaku fidget in his seat though, albeit trying his best to keep it at a minimum. Shrugging he started with his papers again. “Well I wish you luck on your love conquest, kid.”

Noiz continued to keep his eyes on him, a smirk on his lips before he continues with his food. Silence was on them once more. He wasn’t sure if he was completely comforted by that.

 

* * *

 

“I think I should go.” he heard Noiz say after a while. He looked up from the paper he was marking and tilted his head. He wasn’t sure if he wanted the student to leave now but it’s not like he had authority over him. He wasn’t even supposed to bring students to his house but the rain outside wasn’t stopping and by the sounds of the wind and the thump of raindrops from his roof, it’s still pretty strong. 

Koujaku considered driving the other home, he wouldn’t mind, but the thought of leaving Noiz alone in his apartment with no one to look after him when he was sick didn’t sit well with him. He leveled him with his gaze and Noiz raised an eyebrow at his silence. Reaching out to touch the blond’s neck to check his temperature made the other back away. The professor stopped for a moment, confused, before frowning then leaning over the table to place the back of his hand against Noiz’s neck. The blond still felt a little hot. He pulled away after, sitting down in once more.

“You’re still a little hot. Why don’t you stay over? Besides it’s raining pretty hard.”

“I could take care of myself. I’m not a kid.”

Koujaku rolled his eyes at that. Really now. “Says the one who’s sick. Just stay the night. You don’t have classes tomorrow right?”

Green eyes narrowed ever so slightly. Noiz looked like he was about to walk out on him if he didn’t do anything soon.

“I’ll lend you clothes.” He said it as if it was the best thing in the world or the solution to their problems and Noiz looked even more irritated.

The blond stood up, making the chair scratch on the floor, nearly toppled over at the suddenness of the gesture. “I’m going.” Noiz said with finality, walking out of the kitchen. He sounded so sure of himself and yet by the moment he was at the living room, he was leaning heavily on the wall.

Koujaku watched from the kitchen door, he stood as soon as Noiz walked out, intent on stopping him from leaving. “I really don’t think you’re going anywhere brat. Don’t be stubborn and just go to bed.” He said as he walked up to the other and helped him back to the bedroom. Of course there was a lot of struggling involved but he managed to bring the other to the bed and deposited him as gently as he could. He then rummaged through his cabinet and produced a loose fitting shirt and sweatpants.

“Here change into this.”

Noiz looked like he was going to murder him soon but he took the offered clothes. The older man couldn’t help but stare as the other sluggishly pulled his shirt up. He had only ever seen Noiz in sweaters, long sleeves and jackets. He could see the expanse of the other's lower back and then some of his abdomen. He may have looked thin and lanky but apparently he was just really lean. Although he could still use a little more fat.

“Are you eating properly?

It was out of his mouth before he could think anymore of it. Noiz shot him a look before pulling his shirt off the entire way and tugging the new one on. Koujaku couldn’t keep his eyes away when Noiz shimmied out of his pants and into the sweats. He wasn’t going to lie, Noiz had a nice looking ass behind those boxer briefs.

Noiz looked like he was drowning in his clothes, it’s not that big on him but it still hung loose around the blond. Well it was a little big on him too so that might be the reason behind it. It looks good on him though, it kind of shows how much his student was still a kid - or rather he really just looked nice in his clothes. The blond was back on the bed pulling the covers up before smirking at him mischievously.

“You checking me out old man?”

A flush spread across his cheeks and he looked away. “As if. What’s there to check out. You’re pretty much a stick.” He said haughtily but deep down inside he was panicking because god damn it, Noiz really looked good drowning in his clothes and he’s not supposed to be thinking about his student like that.

“I’ll bring your meds. You stay put.”

He felt his cheeks burn even more when Noiz responded with a playful; “Yes, sensei.”

‘ _God, why did I let myself into this mess?’_ was all he could think about as he left the room to get the brat his medicines.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter! Q w Q TBH I think this fic might take a different turn from what I originally planned for it. But we'll see. I hope to hear from you guys too! So comments are much appreciated or drop by my [tumblr](http://seingemini.tumblr.com) account. Thank you once again!!
> 
> Chapter title is from "Warm Water" by Banks


	10. I think I like you but it's complicated

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, hello! It's been a while since I've updated and I'm really sorry. This chapter was supposed to be posted last Sunday but I spent time with my grandparents. Then this week had been really busy with our thesis defense this Monday. (Wish me luck guys ; w ; ) 
> 
> Nevertheless thank you always for reading, for the kudos and comments and being patient with me. As always, I hope you would enjoy this chapter~

When Koujaku woke up the following morning, he could feel some of his muscles sore from sleeping on the couch. Sitting up, he groaned at the pain. Maybe he should’ve just burrowed in the bed with Noiz, the bed was more than big enough for the two of them. Stretching to get some of the kinks out of his bones, he stood to make some breakfast but immediately went towards his room to check on his charge.

To his surprise, the student was still there, nestled under the blankets but had shifted close to the edge of the bed. Somehow, the image of Noiz being taking such a small space on his bed was baffling. He had this idea stuck in his head that Noiz would be all over the place, long limbed that he was.  Approaching quietly, he checked for the other’s temperature without disturbing him before tucking him in - as much as he could with Noiz clinging to the blanket tightly - and proceeding to the kitchen to make breakfast.

He guessed it wouldn’t hurt to make the other stay for a while more.

 

* * *

 

Koujaku wasn’t even halfway done with making breakfast when he heard footsteps behind him. Looking back from where he was cooking, Noiz stood by the door again, a flashback of what happened last night came to him making him pause for a moment but realizing that he had his hair down this time, he was able to relax again. He gave a wave which the blond raised an eyebrow at before he unceremoniously sat down on one of the chairs.

“How are you feeling?” Koujaku asked as he returned to his work.

There was no answer though, only the sound of the eggs cooking on the frying pan. Koujaku forced himself not to look back at Noiz from where he stood. It’s not like it was new that Noiz didn’t talk and the silence wasn’t that bad but he was still concerned about the other.

“Do you want to eat something else? I made toast and eggs.” He added, still somehow hoping that the other would start talking. Or start bickering with him. But maybe he shouldn’t really think too much about it. Noiz was sick, and generally he wasn’t really friendly so that anti-social part of him was probably working full time now. Keeping his mouth shut he continued to make them breakfast.

Soon after Koujaku was placing the plates on the table when he realized that Noiz had laid his head down on the table. With furrowed eyebrows he checked the other’s temperature with his hand again, placing the back of it at the small patch of skin at Noiz’s nape.  “What’s wrong with you? Are you feeling worse or what? Headache?” He probed, finding his seat across the other.

Noiz’s face was turned towards the door so Koujaku couldn’t really read his expression but he somehow tried to stay patient with the silence he got. Pushing it at the back of his head again, he thought that maybe Noiz was just being his usual bratty self and if he didn’t want to eat then so be it. A crunching sound filled the room as Koujaku bit on one of the toasted bread.

This time the blond shifted and the green orbs turned to him. Once again, Koujaku felt like the other was sizing him up. Feeling a bit uncomfortable under it, he tried to hide it by coughing in his fist and running his hand through his hair. Taking his mug of coffee he was sipping on it carefully when the other spoke, voice a bit raspy.

"Sleep with me, old man."

Koujaku nearly choked on his drink, shooting the teen with a disbelieving look. "You've got to be kidding."

What the fuck. What the actual fuck??

For a moment that’s all Koujaku could think about and he was hoping that Noiz was actually joking because, hey, this wasn’t something new with the blond student. Noiz had been making crude jokes and “hitting on him” for the past couple of months, jabbing at how he was attracted to the blond and how irresistible he is, so he was used to this. At least he was supposed to. So hearing him say it this time with a straight face, he didn’t know what to do, so he sat there still waiting for the punch line to come from the other so he could laugh or be angry or just… just _something_.

Because believe it or not he might actually be attracted to Noiz after last night’s event with the clothes and how he found him cute. Or maybe he wasn’t attracted romantically - physically, he has a lot to say but he was sure that he actually cares for this brat. But that didn’t mean he wanted to … to bed him. Someone send help, he might actually be mentally breaking down now.

And yet no laughs or smirk or sneers came from Noiz instead he merely grunted; “I’m not joking. Sleep with me.” His face was still as stoic as ever and the older male could feel his hands starting to sweat. He wanted to laugh, he want so much to brush it off, but the way Noiz’s eyes looked determined, like what he said is between life and death, Koujaku could only stare at him, his mouth falling agape.

What the hell was this kid thinking? Sleeping with a teacher? What point would there be? They’d only get in trouble. Sure the age gap wasn’t that bad, but still, what if the university found out? Noiz would be kicked out and he’ll be fired, worse he could end up in jail. But why the hell was he thinking of all these scenarios if he wasn’t planning on sleeping with his student? So did he want to sleep with Noiz? Jesus Christ he needs a drink. He needs to calm down.

Giving an awkward laugh he shook his head and leaned back in his seat. Appetite suddenly lost. “That’s really funny Noiz. If you wanted someone to hug in your sleep I’m sure my pillows would suffice.” He joked because he had to or else things might actually end up in the direction where Noiz - and some part of him - wanted; on the bed.

Noiz leveled him with a gaze before sighing. “Shame.” He muttered and the older male couldn’t help but think that the other really was just messing with him.

Koujaku gave an awkward laugh before sipping from his mug again. Somehow he felt relieved that this was all just a joke but at the same time there was also a bit of disappointed feeling. He scolded himself for feeling that way, he wasn’t supposed to actually ponder upon invitations like these from his students! If they were from another college or university he doesn’t see anything wrong with it, fine. But considering that he was supposed to look after these youngsters and especially this one, it jarred his thoughts of morals.

A chuckle was heard from in front of him and Koujaku’s attention snapped towards the student. “What?” he couldn’t help but ask from the amused expression the blond had on his face.

“You don’t have to be so torn up about it.” Noiz answered as he took his toast and started eating it. “The offer still stands you know.”

Had Koujaku been drinking his coffee he would’ve choked on it again. How could Noiz even talk about sex as if it was nothing and over breakfast at that? What was he talking about? _Him_? Torn up about sleeping with Noiz?? “Excuse me?” He felt scandalized.

Noiz looked like he was enjoying the toast as he eyed the rest on his plate with interest before his gaze settled to the older man. “Yeah, you looked like you were regretting putting down the offer.” He continued to eat not caring how that comment made Koujaku uncomfortable.

Did it really show on his face? Was he actually regretting how he turned the offer down? But he did feel disappointed earlier. It wouldn’t actually be that bad if he did take the offer… would it? Oh god he needs to talk this out with someone else, preferably Mizuki. He was losing his mind for wanting to have sex with his student.

With a heavy sigh he kept his mouth shut and focused on his breakfast. He’ll just have to sit through this awkward meal and then see if Noiz's condition is good enough before driving him home and meeting with Mizuki. He needs a drink.

 

* * *

 

It turns out that Noiz plans on leaving his place after breakfast as he had crudely told him while he was cleaning the dishes that; “You don’t wanna have sex now so I’m going home.”

Which the older male replied to with a stern; “I’ll drive you.” His hands gripping the plate that he wondered how he didn't break it.

So now they were sitting inside Koujaku’s car towards Noiz’s apartment. If he was going to lead him there. The student had been adamant about not telling him where he lived last night, so he was pretty sure that he was being led somewhere else.

Approaching a traffic light that just turned red, the professor stepped on the break, waiting for the next signal that would let them pass the intersection. The inside of the car was filled with the upbeat music of a pop song playing through the radio.

Koujaku couldn’t help but turn to look at the blond sitting beside him. He had been quiet the whole time, merely giving out which turn to take or what landmarks to look for. The blond also didn’t bother changing into his own clothes last night, saying that he’d just wash it and return it or maybe not return it at all which ended with them bantering about each other’s fashion sense. The somehow tense atmosphere they acquired - at least on Koujaku’s part - earlier during breakfast dissipated and they’re left with this stand still. As Koujaku watched the other stare outside the window, he couldn’t help but admire how the other looked. It was the same as last night when he had realized how much he like to see Noiz in his clothes.

He continued to admire him from his peripheral vision, enthralled with the mixed emotions he felt brewing inside of him. Koujaku was startled when he heard honking from behind him and then realized that the traffic light had already turned green and the people behind him were getting impatient. Feeling embarrassed he immediately stepped on the gas and drove.

“If you were that interested you should’ve just taken the offer.” a joking voice said beside him.

Koujaku could feel his cheeks burn at that but didn’t turn to look at him. “I don’t even understand why you’re offering to have sex with me.”

A chuckle. “Not feeling confident?”

That was a step on his pride. This kid was pushing it. “Excuse you, I’ll have you know that I’m quite the beast in bed.”

“Hard to believe when I haven’t experienced it first hand.”

“Why are you so thirsty for me?” He bantered back, a smirk making his way on his lips. “You sure you could handle me?”

Noiz whistled at that and he noticed the other leaned back in his seat. A grin on his face. “Ohhhh you talk dirty. I like that. Maybe you’d indulge yourself and actually take up my offer.”

That comment seemed to shut Koujaku’s mouth and he couldn’t think of a retort to give the other. Was he actually discussing this with his student? Once again silence enveloped them, Koujaku preferring to focus on driving and Noiz turning to look out the window again.

“Where to now?”

“Just take a right there and then the apartment complex to the right.”

Driving slowly as to not miss the place, Koujaku was able to take in his surrounding. He just realized that they had driven to the shoddy parts of Midorijima and he couldn’t help but frown at state of the area. It wasn’t that bad really but he had heard rumors about how unsafe this part of Midorijima was. Did Noiz really live here? _Alone_? Thinking about it, this place isn’t too far off from the campus so it must’ve been convenience on Noiz’s part too.

“Over there.”

Noiz pointed at a two floor apartment complex. The gate was pretty much rusty but the whole place looked decent. Noiz placed his foot down from his seat and proceeded to put on his shoes. Watching the blond Koujaku wasn’t sure how to part with him now, especially since the student’s offer still weighs heavily on his mind. Yet there was also the part where he worries about Noiz’s fever. Was he really alright to be left alone now? Maybe he’ll contact Clear and tell him what’s up with Noiz, have someone check on him.

“Thanks for the ride.” The other’s voice broke through his thoughts. Red orbs moved from where he had been watching Noiz tie his shoes to the other’s green eyes, a small smile on the blond’s face. For some reason he felt blood rushing towards his face and all he could do was nod.

“Y-yeah, sure. Don’t forget to drink meds.” Koujaku reiterated. The blond nodded and exited the car. Just before the door closes, Noiz leaned down, grinning mischievously at him. “Just so you know. The offer still stands. Call me whenever, sensei.” With that he closed the door and immediately made his way towards the gate before making his way to the stairs.

Koujaku’s face burned at that and he couldn’t help but press his face in the steering wheel, trying his best to make it subside. Really, how could the blond carelessly say those kinds of things? With a red face and a wildly beating heart, he decided he might as well spill his guts out to the only person he had been spilling it to the whole time; Mizuki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm putting the rating down for now because as I have mentioned in the earlier updates that I might change the plot. ; v ; I hope that you would stay with me still. Thank you so much.
> 
> If you'd like to talk, you could always drop by my [tumblr](http://seingemini.tumblr.com) account.
> 
> Chapter title is from "I think I like you" by SirenXX


	11. AUTHOR'S NOTE

Hello there my lovely readers!

First of all I would like to thank you for the continuous support that you have given me. Also happy Holidays to you guys! I hope that you get to have fun and relax with the people you care about. Although this year seems to have it's own ups and downs it was still a great year for me (what with finishing our thesis and having good grades - really thankful for that) and I hope that it's the same with you.

Moving on, I deeply apologize that I am not able to give you an update as a gift this holiday. Despite having some time off I wasn't able to produce a chapter and I feel really sorry about that but I have been busy with making art merchandise for an upcoming convention this January to raise some funds (I used up a lot of my savings this semester so I want to earn it back) I hope that you guys understand.

Also if you're interested, I'm open to commissions! You could get my [commission info](http://seingemini.tumblr.com/post/134989794602/emi-commissions) on my tumblr account [here](http://seingemini.tumblr.com). Or if you want to talk just go ahead and send me a message, I always want to hear from you guys! (That chatting system on tumblr is really nice haha)

Thank you so much for everything, I hope that you do understand and once again I just want to say I'm sorry for not being able to deliver. Until next time my dears! Happy Holidays once again!


	12. Foolish heart, hear me calling. Stop before you start falling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I'm back! I just want to thank everyone that's still here and for the support. For the kudos and the comments thank you. I'm sorry that I haven't updated in months but I'm here now. Thank you always!

"So what you're saying is that he’s making advances towards you?” Mizuki asked wearily.

After driving Noiz home, Koujaku had made sure to message Clear about the blond’s situation and what happened (leaving out the offer part) and asked if he could check up on him eventually. The student had replied that he would happily do so and that he didn’t have to worry about Noiz anymore. Koujaku was just thankful that he was able to save Clear’s number from that time that they talked about Noiz’s absences.

Focusing back to the situation at hand, Koujaku took a sip from his beer and nodded. “I didn’t bother the first few times because I thought he was joking. He always does. But earlier today he offered to…” his voice wavered, unsure of how to actually tell Mizuki that Noiz literally told him to sleep with him. “...do it.”

The expression on the burgundy haired male was a mix of confusion and disbelief. “So he’s been… doing it for a while? Did he start being physical though? Does it seem like harassment?”

Koujaku shook his head wildly. It didn’t feel like harassment because the first few times didn’t feel like there were any meaning to it, just jokes but now… And like hell will he allow that kid to touch him sexually. Well… he mig- nope. He shouldn’t be thinking this way. He’s the fucking _adult_. He needs to get a grip and start thinking straight. He took a large gulp from his drink, the burn of the alcohol making its way down his throat was as if he was drowning all of the thoughts he had in his head.

"Well... Were you planning on taking up the offer?" Mizuki suddenly asked making Koujaku freeze up. He didn't know how to answer that because he himself had trouble in coming to a decision.

Taking his silence as an answer Mizuki looked at him seriously  "If you're planning to at least-"

"No! No wait!" He cut the other off, not ready to hear him comment about how they should consider their situation first and take in the risks, because he was sure that he’s not ready to take the risks. “Look, I don’t want to okay? I mean, sure, he actually appeals to me physically but we just don’t match personality wise. And then there’s the fact that he’s still my student, I’m not supposed to have relationships with them. Plus…” He hesitated for a moment, lips turning into a thin line.

“Plus there’s still your feelings for Aoba.” Mizuki finished looking certainly worried at him. “You know, it’s not really my position and this thing takes time, like shit dude, you’ve been inlove with him for _years._ I could only imagine how hard that could be but… maybe you should… I don’t know… _try_ to be with someone. I’m not saying your student, no, but someone else.”

Koujaku couldn’t help but just stare and gape at his friend. He was sure that he wasn’t telling him to look for someone to use as a rebound but wow. Was he really that miserable looking for him to suggest looking for someone else? He had been hung up on Aoba, sure, but that doesn’t mean he had to take chances on people he didn’t really know.

“Are you telling me to sleep with my student?”

“I just said, you don’t have to sleep with your student. I’m saying that there are lots of fish in the ocean.”

The professor frowned at the other before taking a huge gulp from his drink. He thinks that maybe this conversation with Mizuki made him even more confused than before.

 

* * *

 

In the end, the talk with Mizuki didn't help him one bit. All it did was leave a bitter taste in his mouth; questions and scenarios running through his head.  
  
He felt bothered with the thought of actually taking up the offer as well as the fact that he was entertaining the idea. Koujaku was back at his place, had stumbled in his room and faceplanted on the bed as soon as he got inside. Why was this happening to him? What did he do to deserve this? Burying his face in the comforter he realized that it still faintly smells of its former occupant - somehow it was comforting but at the same time jarring.

Pulling a pillow close and using it as a cushion for his chest he pulled out his phone and looked through his contacts. There wasn’t much - okay, there were tons of numbers saved in his phone,most of them from people he hardly knew or only know about because of his time as a hairdresser. It was then that he realized that he doesn’t even have any contact number of the blond despite seeing him for some time already. All of their business were discussed through emails.

He started debating whether to actually check up on him or not. Maybe this was some kind of sign telling him to not care so much but damn it, he did and without further thinking, he opened the email app on his phone, making a message to inquire about how the other was. Koujaku could always just message Clear, no problem, yet he felt like he needed to talk directly to the teen.

_Hey, how are you feeling?_

When the message was sent, he laid there staring at the small screen of his phone thinking whether he did the right thing or not. He means well right? He was just being a responsible adult and looking out for his student. Nothing odd about that. He kept rereading his message though, as if doing so could change the content of the message. Should he have phrased it another way? A more formal one?

And yet, as time passed with no reply from the other, he started to go restless. Was Clear still with him? Was he okay? Did he eat? Did his fever come back? There were tons and tons of thoughts that could’ve gone wrong, yet he couldn’t bring himself to call Clear or send another email because seriously, why did he care so much?

Burying his face in the pillow, he let out a frustrated grunt, blaming his confusion with the events earlier this day. Noiz clearly riled him up to a point that he was having a really hard time in coming into to terms with everything. Should he follow up? Should he leave him alone? Why the fuck didn’t he get the other’s number in the first place?

Just as he was about to give up on it when his phone screen lit up, showing a text notification. He felt excited that this might actually be Noiz replying but at the same time anxious that it might not be him, his heart started to beat faster. What the fuck was he some sort of teenager who has a crush? He shouldn’t be acting and feeling this way.

The message was from an unknown number. Opening the messaging app, small letters filled the screen and he couldn’t help the smile that came on his lips.

_I can’t believe you asked me how I was through email._

_Also, how dare you call Clear and ask him to check up on me. He’s on full mother hen mode. I can hardly do anything without him being constantly watching. Just so you know I can look after myself, thank you._

_I got your number from Clear if you’re wondering, I just can’t take you seriously if I replied through email._

Koujaku could only read and reread the messages, a fond smile making its way on his lips. He can’t believe how he could feel happy and relieved with replies like those.

_Whatever brat. Get well soon._

This time, he did get to fall asleep.

 

* * *

 

The following days had been a series of exchanged texts from random things to insults to asking how they were. Koujaku, on his part, kept on telling himself that this was all for the sake of being a responsible adult and looking after his student. 

Yet before he could enter the library for their tutorial session he couldn’t stop how hard his heart was beating at the thought of meeting the blond haired male. He wasn’t able to meet his class earlier that day because of a sudden meeting for the professors regarding the visitation of some higher ups from the department of education but he made sure that they were to meet today to see on his progress for the paper he assigned Noiz to write. (Though if he were to be honest it was all just pretense)

Entering the library, a few set of eyes turned to look at him, smiles and greetings thrown his way from students to staff that were inside the place. In return, he also gave smiles and greetings.

Upon reaching the usual spot where they study, his blond student was no where in sight. Suppressing the disappointed feeling bubbling in his gut, he sat down and shuffled some of the papers he had on hand. Maybe Noiz was just running a bit late, it wasn’t as if he’s the only subject that was important. Besides, he could use this time to calm himself down.

Time continued to pass and he kept on checking his watch, only to find out that mere minutes have passed then feeling embarrassed and pathetic. How can he feel this impatient for a tutorial session? This was ridiculous.

Maybe the silence of the library was getting to him; setting him on edge. Yeah, that’s probably it.

“Miss me?”

A cool voice murmured beside his ear and made him jump, his head turning to the side immediately to look at the source despite knowing who it was. Crimson coloring his cheeks in slight embarrassment.

He watched as Noiz chuckled, finding his reactions amusing, before sitting down across from him. “You should’ve seen your face.” The blond continued to chuckle, green orbs settled on him full of mirth. “Were you beginning to think that I ditched you?”

Koujaku scoffed, trying to act as if Noiz didn’t hit the nail on the head. “Of course not. It isn’t me who needs these grades, you know.”

“Just admit it, you were thinking about me weren’t you?”

The older male’s eyes narrowed a bit at Noiz assumption - which, really it isn’t. He was thinking of the blond wasn’t he? But of course he shouldn’t be admitting yet he couldn’t help but want to know what the blond’s reaction would be if he found out the truth. _‘Probably smug.’_ He thought.

Shrugging he looked into those green orbs and nodded. “Yeah. I was, actually. You were sick on my bed a few days ago of course I’d be somewhat worried.” He spoke smoothly, finishing with a small smile.

The reaction Noiz had wasn’t what he expected though. He was expecting a smug look and laughing and teasing; not a confused look of disbelief and shock. Just as his eyebrows started to furrow in worry, Noiz schooled his expression into what he was expecting, a smug look. “Ha! I knew it.” The blond leaned back, smirking and all. “Were you thinking of the offer still? It still stands, if you’re interested.”

Koujaku felt and looked scandalized. His eyes started to look around, scanning to see if anyone heard them. His heart pounded at the idea that someone could’ve heard what they were talking about. Frowning he leaned closer to Noiz,his fingers digging painfully in his arms as he rested on them. “Can you stop talking about that? Especially when we’re in a public place? You can get us in trouble!”

The blond chuckled and leaned close as well, making Koujaku inch back a little; “Then we’ll talk about it in _private._ ”

If he could slap the smirk on Noiz face, he would’ve.

“Whatever.” He muttered and opened his hand as if asking for something. Well he was, actually. “Where’s the paper?”

“Awwww straight on to business.” The blond said, voice laced with fake disappointment, before he handed a thin stack of paper. “Here, here a book analysis on _The Little Prince_ . I can’t believe you made me read that when _I_ was _sick_ then made me do a paper for it.”

Koujaku took the papers and flipped through it,reading a few lines and catching a few quotes here and there. “Well this was due even before you got sick anyway. Besides, this better be good because of how long it’s been with you.”

The glare Noiz shot him across the table was worth it. He couldn’t help smirking.

 

* * *

 

When they finished Koujaku was contemplating whether or not he should ask Noiz if they should eat out again but remembers how the blond will take any kind of opportunity to bring up his “offer”. Then he remembered Mizuki's suggestion about going out with someone, the thought of going out with Noiz in the context of dating was both appealing and dreadful at the same time. Despite this he decide to ask out of courtesy.

“Do you want to have dinner?”

Noiz, for a moment again, looked stunned. He smiled then, shaking his head. “Ahh, I’d like yo say yes but I have prior arrangements before you asked. Maybe next time, _sensei_.” he smirked, the last word being drawled out before he waved and left.

Koujaku didn’t know if he felt relieved or disappointed at being turned down by the blond. Nevertheless he pushed it at the back of his mind, deciding that this was something whimsical in the first place and packed his things. Time to head out own then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter title is from "Foolish heart" by Nina.
> 
> I swear sometimes the songs aren't that connected. ; v ;
> 
> Come talk to me over tumblr: seingemini, or over twitter: @emidegrey O v O!! I'd love to hear from you guys!


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